I am new to this, just found this website today. My short story is that I grew up in a very physically and mentally abusive home. I have no good memories of growing up, in fact, I have very few memories at all. I never felt loved growing up and I have a hard time accepting the love in my life today. I thought that I had gotten past this but now all of a sudden I am a mother of two, have the perfect husband, and the perfect life but I cannot attain the happiness that a normal person can in this situation. It is a frustrating thing. To have all the pieces of the puzzle except for that one piece. My husband struggles with me and I know the answer can't come from him. I fear that I am going to make the same mistakes with my children as my parent's made with me. I thought that I could be better than that but sometimes I don't feel like I am. I want to seek counseling but I have done that in the past and have not found the right person to help me. I talked to one counseler about this and when I told a story of my past she actually gasped because the story was so bad. What sort of help do I need? What do I look for in a specialist? Can someone guide me to find the right person?
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