This might seem like a really obvious thing to say but, sometimes stating the obvious is needed i think! I had a bit of a 'light bulb' moment last night when talking to a friend about 'muscles' and what we find attractive in men. I was saying how i prefer toning but not 'muscle man' muscles and that my stbxh had got quite 'built' by the end, and she agreed that his muslcles were 'straining under his top' the last time she saw him. I then said 'yeah, by the end he was 7 stone heavier than me with those big muscles, so when he threw or pinned or hit me, i didn't stand a chance, there's no way i could fight back' and then i sort of heard what i said, and reflected and felt really sad. Like outside of the situation is seemed more 'real'. And a word popped into my head 'BULLY' and i realised that is exactly what it boiled down to. Outside of the complex emotions that were playing because we had been together ten years and were married, he was and is a BULLY plain and simple. he bullied me, he bullies his mum. I know this might seem simple and obvious, but i hope for some of you on here you will understand why i see this as a significant realisation, and for others, it might help you make the sme link. We can dress it up any way we cose or our minds chose for us, but in the end, it's bullying and its cowardly and pathetic and destructive. I hope this makes sense?
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