Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Last night, I was talking to the man that I've started seeing recently. We were talking about how everyone has skeletons in their closet and that we each wanted to tell the other things about our pasts. Then he began to tell me about an incident with his ex-wife that scared me a little.
It seems that she went out to a bar and got drunk while he was away. The results of her night out were photos on the internet of her pulling her top down and showing her boobs (with bra). She never told him about it, but he found out from a friend after the fact. She defended her actions, minimizing the event. They got into a fight, yelling, screaming... neither one listening to the other.
And then he told me that he grabbed her by the throat. This scared me. He said that he's never hit a woman. But he admitted that he has grabbed on a few occasions. He also said that his ex-wife walked into him once and fell down... but she accused him of knocking her down.
I've picked up on things he's said over the past few weeks that made me stop and think. He'll talk about how he thinks my STBX needs his "ass kicked". Or how when someone (even a stranger) aggravates him, he's going to confront them... and not in a very diplomatic way. I can see him being aggressive if provoked. But it's hard to know if that's just his Wyoming cowboy, school of hard knocks, ex-sailor way... or if I'm flirting with danger.
Advice?
It seems that she went out to a bar and got drunk while he was away. The results of her night out were photos on the internet of her pulling her top down and showing her boobs (with bra). She never told him about it, but he found out from a friend after the fact. She defended her actions, minimizing the event. They got into a fight, yelling, screaming... neither one listening to the other.
And then he told me that he grabbed her by the throat. This scared me. He said that he's never hit a woman. But he admitted that he has grabbed on a few occasions. He also said that his ex-wife walked into him once and fell down... but she accused him of knocking her down.
I've picked up on things he's said over the past few weeks that made me stop and think. He'll talk about how he thinks my STBX needs his "ass kicked". Or how when someone (even a stranger) aggravates him, he's going to confront them... and not in a very diplomatic way. I can see him being aggressive if provoked. But it's hard to know if that's just his Wyoming cowboy, school of hard knocks, ex-sailor way... or if I'm flirting with danger.
Advice?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I am still here...but daily think about leaving.
My advice is WALK AWAY...if not RUN! He's trying to act like a "protector" and NOT the abuser that he REALLY is. It's the EXACT thing I heard over and over when we first hooked up and married. My mistake was thinking he was "protector". My first hubby was a drunk and wussy. I went from one extreme to the other.
noone can protect you but yourself. you have a need for this because of your childhood. nice guys probably bore you..anyway, go,go,go the other way.i know you will feel like you are being the "bad one" by breaking things off,butyou will be being the "smart one" if you listen to your insticts on this one. good luck!!
[i also read your update of this thread]
he also admitted things to me freely...and i was just happy to have someone be honest with me.
it took 8 months for him to physically out and out threaten me...and this was in "retaliation" or self defense if you like.
i was cooking a nice celebration dinner...he mentioned a friend stopping by, i got upset [convicted rapist, i did not want him in my dorm room full of young girls] he also told me that they were no longer friends. i accidentally mistook my finger for an onion...and needed a sink and bandages....he was on the phone with our neighborhood friendly rapist,...and i couldn't get to the sink with out touching him....we brushed when i passed him....and i remember being nervous about it for some reason and extra careful.
i didn't even feel it, and definitely wasn't expecting any retaliation. apparently i had physically assaulted him... as he put it through grit teeth about 3 inches from my face.
i later found out that he had been giving any of my male friends very threateing looks and nasty comments behind my back. most of my guy friends are gay....so it's just rediculous.
that was my original thought as well
*ahem* sorry...not a laughing matter