
Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

deleted_user
I guess i'm just wondering if anyone has had to deal with a jealous lover before? Along with the physical and mental abuse that comes with that. You see i'm feeling pritty empty and alone right now, and i really need someone to talk to about this. I've lost everything, except my job and which im just burying myself deeper and deeper in to fill the void; but cracks are beginning to show in my mental health and i can't quite seem to pull through this and move on.
Ill give you a bit of a brief history of events in cronological order-
Met Danielle, instantly fell in love, the best thing that had ever happened to me (at the time)
She would question me constantly about what i found attractive about her.
She became paranoid about a friendship i had with another girl.
We moved in together
She began to interrogate me indepth about previous relationships, graphic details (describing sex, size of vagina, breasts etc)
I would have to leave the flat for breathing space, she wouldn't let me back in, calling me all the names under the sun, eventually i would be let in and she would keep an argument going until the early hours of the morning... then have to go to work in the morning
This became, without exageration a daily routine for about a year.
When i got to work she would phone me up every lunch time and twice in between. To check up on me.
She would bully me, and infer that i was trying it on with some of the receptionists. She would tell me she hated me and that i was a piece of sh*t and thati was treating her badly.
I started a uni course one day a week in another city, and she would turn up unexpectidly outside my classes to see if i was with aother girl. Whenever i was not in her company i could be sure to recieve a phonecall from her.
She quit her job, and i became sole provider for about 6months, whilst she built up debts that i often helped pay off.
She is now going through bancrupcy and being evicted from her flat, for which she blames me.
I stopped going out or getting in contact with anyone but my parents now for about a year and a year, and have been unable to make new friends for about 2 years because she made it impossible for me.
She became physically violent towards me, and my cats. She strangled me, i would not fight back. She threw glasses at me, threatened me with knives, bit me kicked me, scratched me, she even tore chunks of flesh from the inside of my mouth.
I had to call the police on here one time, because i feared for my life. I left her for a short time, but i felt so empty, and had become completely under her control. I clung on to the hope that she would realise what she was doing was wrong and become that girl i fell in love with again, but those glimpses of that danielle were few and far between.
I eventually realised that she no longer cared for me, i don't think she was ever capable of that. She was only after money and sex, i realise that now, as when we broke up she started to blackmail me by trying to force my own family against me, and embarressing me infront of the people i work with. I never gave her a penny this time.
On a final note, she had been adopted as a child, and to an extent this is where her insecurity stemmed from; but i don't doubt for one second that she played on that... Theres no excuse for domestic abuse.
Please, please get in contact if you have a similar story to tell. I would like very much to here from you, especially if you are at the stage where you have moved on, and are getting your life back together. I would be happy to offer advice myself, but don't know how much help i can be.
Thanks for getting this far and reading my story, Mike
Ill give you a bit of a brief history of events in cronological order-
Met Danielle, instantly fell in love, the best thing that had ever happened to me (at the time)
She would question me constantly about what i found attractive about her.
She became paranoid about a friendship i had with another girl.
We moved in together
She began to interrogate me indepth about previous relationships, graphic details (describing sex, size of vagina, breasts etc)
I would have to leave the flat for breathing space, she wouldn't let me back in, calling me all the names under the sun, eventually i would be let in and she would keep an argument going until the early hours of the morning... then have to go to work in the morning
This became, without exageration a daily routine for about a year.
When i got to work she would phone me up every lunch time and twice in between. To check up on me.
She would bully me, and infer that i was trying it on with some of the receptionists. She would tell me she hated me and that i was a piece of sh*t and thati was treating her badly.
I started a uni course one day a week in another city, and she would turn up unexpectidly outside my classes to see if i was with aother girl. Whenever i was not in her company i could be sure to recieve a phonecall from her.
She quit her job, and i became sole provider for about 6months, whilst she built up debts that i often helped pay off.
She is now going through bancrupcy and being evicted from her flat, for which she blames me.
I stopped going out or getting in contact with anyone but my parents now for about a year and a year, and have been unable to make new friends for about 2 years because she made it impossible for me.
She became physically violent towards me, and my cats. She strangled me, i would not fight back. She threw glasses at me, threatened me with knives, bit me kicked me, scratched me, she even tore chunks of flesh from the inside of my mouth.
I had to call the police on here one time, because i feared for my life. I left her for a short time, but i felt so empty, and had become completely under her control. I clung on to the hope that she would realise what she was doing was wrong and become that girl i fell in love with again, but those glimpses of that danielle were few and far between.
I eventually realised that she no longer cared for me, i don't think she was ever capable of that. She was only after money and sex, i realise that now, as when we broke up she started to blackmail me by trying to force my own family against me, and embarressing me infront of the people i work with. I never gave her a penny this time.
On a final note, she had been adopted as a child, and to an extent this is where her insecurity stemmed from; but i don't doubt for one second that she played on that... Theres no excuse for domestic abuse.
Please, please get in contact if you have a similar story to tell. I would like very much to here from you, especially if you are at the stage where you have moved on, and are getting your life back together. I would be happy to offer advice myself, but don't know how much help i can be.
Thanks for getting this far and reading my story, Mike
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Don't know if i can be of much help, but have been through very similar experience, although as yet, haven't found the strength to leave or maybe i'm just a frightened coward, Difference is with you i've been in the relationship for nearly twenty four years. A brief summary;
1 Intense jealousy from almost day one, not as bad now
2 Accusations of affairs
3 Past physical abuse
4 Emotional and mental abuse
5 Ignoring me
6 Telling me 'i'm f--king useless, on countless occasions.
7 Forcing himself on me
8 Totally unsupportive
The list is endless, but needless to say, i am trying to sort myself out, but its really hard when you have no confidence or self esteem and feel pretty worthless.
Would like to chat to anyone in similar position.
the pettiest thing he hit me for... I put his darn drink in the wrong cupholder. my cheek still hurts 3 days later.
scariest thing - he screams at dustin for crying. "SHUT UP" like that is going to get a baby to stop crying.
enougha bout me. Sounds like you need to build up belief in yourself. let fellow coworkers know that you are no longer involved, so that she cant harras you at work.
When i was reading your post it was like I was reading about my ex. He was as jealous as your ex was. It was exactly the same, I was not allowed any friends, I could not go anywhere with out him, If I did go out by my self he would ring me every single minute and if I did not answer the phone on time It would mean to him that I am unfaithful.
And even now that we have separated he stocks me every day, He calls me every minute, send me txt messages. It just never ends.
And he blackmails me either.
He is so paranoid it is not funny. He needs help and he does not want to delive it.
I just try to ignore him as much as possible.
I feel your pain, hang in there.
I have been in two relationships like that - one I was married and the other one I lived with. The second one was mentally abusive, had affairs and fathered a child with someone who was my best friend.
I am happy to tell you that I have moved on - I am happily married to a lovely man, I am studying towards a degree and I have friends who I trust. Both previous partners are out of my life and I am dealing with the issues the abuse left me with.I am giving a presentation to professionals on this subject in November as I believe the more people understand about what it is to be a victim of abuse the better. Any time you want to talk please believe that I will listen and will not judge you or call you a liar - nor will I be shocked at what you tell me. The same goes for anyone else who wants to share the pain. Love Viv XXXXXXXXX
I AM at a stage where I've moved on and MY LIFE is getting back together, today's actually a very good day. I had a lot of setbacks but it is possible to put all the peices back together. Best wishes to you!