Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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grief

deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel as though a part of me is dying. I just heard that d's moving away. I don't know why I feel this way. I am heartsick. I want to run to him and I can't. Trapped between my heart and my head. It's been a year of chaos, restraining orders and protection orders. Yet here I sit sick with grief. I still love him. I feel so damn empty. I wanted to stop the pain this afternoon. I almost made a terrible mistake. I am so lost and confused. Why can I not just let him go. There has been so much abuse. My life almost sniffed out by choking. Assault. Why am I still hanging on. I have been with him for seven years. I hurt so badly right now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry that you are in such pain.
Time is the only healer I know and hearing the true, true words " this too shall pass".
What you have identified and defined yourself by is shifting. It feels like a death and perhaps it is. just remember woman, that the catipillar rebirths as a butterfly and the pupae, a dragonfly. You too, can fly...in time. I hope for you angels tonight.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i feel the exact same way. I think I am crazy, I think I must have lost my mined during one of ther many beating

I long for him, I feel so afraid. I amsorry you feel this way but I am glad that I am not alone
Maybe we can be kbrave together
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know that your greif is getting to you right now, and you feel the impulse to grab on to anything, however, I can tell you from experience that distance helps the healing process. I have had more healing in the year and a half since I moved about 800 miles away than before when I could have run across him at the mall or the grocery store. I am no longer looking over my shoulder for him and I have been able to process all of those feelings.
Good luck to you and hang in there. THings are rocky during this time, but they DO get better.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry that you're hurting. I think this is something that most of us have in common. Missing our abuser once we have split from them. That's part of the control that they have over us. I know it sucks but we have to be strong. Every time we run back it sucks our power away. We can do this if we stick together. XOXO
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ditto. I miss my stbx terribly even though he was so violent. I feel like I am grieving not just the loss of a toxic relationship but as though he has died. I am concidering doing something to help grieve the closure of my relationship with my stbx. I think it might help somehow.

Am I just missing the quality times we spent together? Or is he just so controlling I lack the self esteem to move foward without him? I am struggling everday with loosing him. I thought I would be more relieved, but I am not. I am able now to prove to myself I can be a good mom though.

Biggest thing is DON'T CONTACT HIM. It will make everything worse until you can heal from this.
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