Well another day. Everything I thought was okay until I could see the frustration building in my stbx. Why, no reason. He's good for a couple days then gets angry again. I mean I really don't love him anymore and I know I should get my boys away. My 8 yr old is starting to act just like him, I see the anger in him, although he does not have his angry tendencies, he's learning it from him, that's my main concern. I know my son will hate me for leaving and probably think it's temporary, I have left so many times. I am awaiting a call today for a new position. I currently have very little income. I really have no more in common with him except our 8 yr old, I have been married 3x & I feel like a failure again. Believe me, I am an outgoing person who gets along with just about everyone but sometimes I feel what is wrong with me. I have become numb to all the verbal and emotional abuse he dishes out, I do not take it personally, he thinks his problem is me, he has told me over & over he'd be happy without me. I have just tried for 9 yrs to keep the family together and not to be a failure again, although during the 9 yrs I have not truly been happy or in love with him. He's so jealous of my 20 yr old. He can do no right. He truely has never shown him any love or respect just emotional pain, I should have left long ago if I was a good mom, I feel so guilty, I'm afraid for my kids on how all of this is going to effect them in the future. Please reply, thanks.
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