Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Been with him 10 years, married for 4. He's always been verbally cruel, and I did have him arrested for domestic violence in 2005. We had counseling, got back together everything fine. When we married, I had just gotten my RN, had a great job, great future. A little over a year ago, I got sick started losing my eyesight, eventually going blind. I had to stop working a year ago, we were stressed by the income loss and I moved out in May to let things cool down. I moved back in in september - I have kids from a previous marraige and I wanted to keep them in the same school. He did 3 marraige counseling sessions then refused any more. I started individual counseling to deal with my loss of sight, job, independence, etc.
Since I moved back in he's gotten so much more controlling - for my own good. I can't have money, because I don't work - he works, it's his money. I can't drive, so when I want to go anywhere I have to ask him to drive me or wait 45 min for the bus in Michigan winter, transfer 2x before I get to the city busline. The day everything blew up, he decided I was lazy and on the internet too much so he destroyed a computer and we got physical again. He says all he did was grab me - I buise too easily. I had 2 cracked ribs about 4 weeks ago - at that time I told the doc I fell but he pushed me into a dresser, I hit the corner all wrong.
But I did call the police this time, and he is staying at his mom's. I'm trying to get emergency assistance to relocate to my sister's in Colorado - the kids and I can stay with her until I find a place. I'm working with a women's advocate for the emergency funds to relocate and keep afloat until I do.
He drained the joint bank account to $2.37, I only have my SSDI - ex hasn't paid support for the kids for years. I found out he took $40,000 out of his 401k during last year and didn't have any taxes taken out - so we will owe on April 15th. Of course the money is gone, I think he gave it to his mom to hold.
We jointly own 2 homes, our and the one his mom lives in. Am I entitled to something from the homes, even if I moved out? He says no because I am only on the loans, not on the deeds.
Should I divorce him or wait for him to divorce me? Should I ask about alimony? Even though we were married only 4 years, I think it was foul that he married me for richer, dumped me when I could no longer work because I lost my sight.
Does the 2 domestic violence charges against him help me in the property division or alimony plea at all?
Since I moved back in he's gotten so much more controlling - for my own good. I can't have money, because I don't work - he works, it's his money. I can't drive, so when I want to go anywhere I have to ask him to drive me or wait 45 min for the bus in Michigan winter, transfer 2x before I get to the city busline. The day everything blew up, he decided I was lazy and on the internet too much so he destroyed a computer and we got physical again. He says all he did was grab me - I buise too easily. I had 2 cracked ribs about 4 weeks ago - at that time I told the doc I fell but he pushed me into a dresser, I hit the corner all wrong.
But I did call the police this time, and he is staying at his mom's. I'm trying to get emergency assistance to relocate to my sister's in Colorado - the kids and I can stay with her until I find a place. I'm working with a women's advocate for the emergency funds to relocate and keep afloat until I do.
He drained the joint bank account to $2.37, I only have my SSDI - ex hasn't paid support for the kids for years. I found out he took $40,000 out of his 401k during last year and didn't have any taxes taken out - so we will owe on April 15th. Of course the money is gone, I think he gave it to his mom to hold.
We jointly own 2 homes, our and the one his mom lives in. Am I entitled to something from the homes, even if I moved out? He says no because I am only on the loans, not on the deeds.
Should I divorce him or wait for him to divorce me? Should I ask about alimony? Even though we were married only 4 years, I think it was foul that he married me for richer, dumped me when I could no longer work because I lost my sight.
Does the 2 domestic violence charges against him help me in the property division or alimony plea at all?
He has treated you abysmally, and yes I think you do have a lot of rights..But I also think that you will need very good legal help and advise as soon as possible..like right now..
Its just my opinion, but I do think that his documeneted abuse will be a factor in how a court will view his actions, and will also be an advantage to you, especially in any settlement. You should be entitled to alimony, and a fair share of property, and also a fair share of any joint monies that he might have taken from you.
Please don't allow him take any more away from you..And please go back to that doctor, and tell him the real truth so it will be on record..
So sad you ended up with such a nasty abusive loser, who hasn't treated you with the respect and care, that you deserve.
But so glad to hear that you are moving away from him now..and the very best of luck with all ahead. You and your children, deserve so much better.
But please get legal help, to reclaim all that is rightfully yours.
Its not your fault, and what he did to you, was horrible, unacceptable..and intolerable..hugs for you..You sound so strong, you can manage without that in your life..