Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am the older sibling of one sister who is 19. All of our lives, we have been best of best friends. Every time a friend would grow apart or I had a fight with someone, I knew I could count on my sister for friendship and support. We told each other everything. I made a million sacrifices for the both of us to earn trust and respect from our parents. I would always set up our summer jobs, I learned to drive so that we could go fun places, and I would always make plans with her before anyone else. I have always looked out for her, because she is my little sister. I never gave a second thought to it.
This last summer though, things changed. She met this guy and overnight, completely pushed me aside. We were fighting and crying for the first time in our lives. She told me that she was sick of having to deal with my temperment, and that I needed to change my attitude. She made some really bad decisions and almost caused my parents to split up. Now, at best we have a polite co-existence. Our conversations are simple and superficial.
The entire experience was the most painful thing I have ever had to deal with. I felt like I was trying to hold my family together, even though it technically wasn't my job to do. I feel betrayed by my sister, who discarted me in a second after everything I have ever done for her. I have lost my best friend, and the void is feeling impossible to fill.
I have taken her request into consideration, and I have been working on changing certain aspects of my personality, but the reevalution and changing process is long and painful, and even more so alone.
I know someday I will feel less hurt by this all. I also hope someday my sister will realize what she threw away. But in the meantime, I feel like I have been left in the dark and I don't know quite how to get past this.
Any suggestions or stories would be greatly appreciated.
This last summer though, things changed. She met this guy and overnight, completely pushed me aside. We were fighting and crying for the first time in our lives. She told me that she was sick of having to deal with my temperment, and that I needed to change my attitude. She made some really bad decisions and almost caused my parents to split up. Now, at best we have a polite co-existence. Our conversations are simple and superficial.
The entire experience was the most painful thing I have ever had to deal with. I felt like I was trying to hold my family together, even though it technically wasn't my job to do. I feel betrayed by my sister, who discarted me in a second after everything I have ever done for her. I have lost my best friend, and the void is feeling impossible to fill.
I have taken her request into consideration, and I have been working on changing certain aspects of my personality, but the reevalution and changing process is long and painful, and even more so alone.
I know someday I will feel less hurt by this all. I also hope someday my sister will realize what she threw away. But in the meantime, I feel like I have been left in the dark and I don't know quite how to get past this.
Any suggestions or stories would be greatly appreciated.
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
My "fight" with my sister has been going on for about 6 months, and it is constantly present, I think about it all of the time even if I don't want to. If it's not too much trouble, I would really appreciate both of your feedback (and anyone else's who may read this!). Thanks in advance...
i tell you this... because if it is possible for 2 siblings that NEVER got along, to start getting along after a number of years... then it is possible that this too shall pass
Jimmy, I am sorry to hear about the difficult relationship with your brother, but I am also really glad that you are both finally in a place where you can fix it.Good luck!
Many people have told me that my sister is just reacting (in the wrong way) to the attention she gets from this guy, and that eventually she will realize how she pushed us (her family) away. But in the meantime, her arrogance and indifference is hurtful and I don't even want to try to talk about it because the last few times I tried, it ended up all being "my fault" and I always end up in tears and feeling awrful about myself.
jlkrjl, I think I worded it incorrectly in my first post. I am actually 22, and my sister is 19. I had always thought she was incredibly mature for being 3 years younger than me, but as of when this all started, she has completely changed. She definitely only seems to care about what happens to her and thinks solely about herself, and she didn't used to be like that. It must be a phase, and probably pretty normal, but it feels very abnormal since she used to be a much more considerate person and we used to be able to tell each other EVERYTHING. I find it really interesting that you say that outside friendships come between your daughters... that is soooo true. I have always tried to create a good environment with my friends and her, but even so she still seems resentful of it and doesn't make the same effort for me. But then she gets offended if I resent her for that! It's so confusing!
I really appreciate your positive feedback though. These are times when I don't necessarily want to have people on my side, I just want someone to tell me that it's not all my fault and that things will eventually get better. But this is going to be very difficult to forgive. :-(
You know, the more I read other topics around here, the more I see my problem can somewhat relate to being in a type of abusive relationship. I keep wanting to stay close, but she uses me and betrays me and makes me feel like it's my fault. I keep wanting to forgive her, but then she does something that makes me angry all over again. I don't want it to be this way, and I'm really grateful for everyones insight and help so far. I have felt much better since I joined here. I may not know everyone's name, but the openness here is awesome.