I wasn't going to post. I've been feeling so hopeless and bad about myself. Two years ago, I strugged to lose/release over 100 lbs I had gained from being sick. My husband released about 50 lbs. About this time his mother died and he got really thin-too thin really. He got a lot of sympathy and attention. That was okay. I kept plugging away; trying to follow the program and learn to cook properly (which his whole family and some of mine had shamed me for not being able to do well). We started going to church and having more of a social life. It was a big deal to me, since I am disabled, don't work and don't get out much. I started to feel really good about myself. When I got down 65 lbs, I guess I had hoped I would get more attention from my H. Nope. Nothing. No affection. No interest. It seemed the only place I got any "atta girls" was at the WW meetings I attended. Soon my husband started picking fights and being abusive. I haven't been on tract since then. Now I have regained from a weight of 122 to 149-150. I feel so sad about the state of our relationship, it is hard to pull yourself back up from the depths of hell. Especially, with him enabling me and me acting like some trained Pavlov dog bingeing every night. The worst is not understanding. I see it was always there the (abuse)...he just let his family do it for him! I don't know how to feel and do better when I get this low. I even abuse my ownself by not puting on makeup, washing my hair, having enough self-respect to try to help myself. Does anybody else have this problem? In the last year, I have lost my last uncle, a friend, a favorite cousin, my half-sister. I have one person I consider a friend and have confided in her. Anybody got any suggestions on how to get back on your feet?
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