I am falling back in...I have just gone through a sort of break-down. My nerves were just shot. I was frightened all the time as some of you may know. It has been a very rough year..I am back finally in my house. I have a protection order and restraining order that I have been incapable of enforcing - Terrified to do anything when he come to the house; my fault..Everyone I have turned to for help is finally sick of me...I am on my own in this....my councillors have all but washed their hands of me..My thoughts have ranged from suicide to leaving...yet I am stuck, paralyzed. I am ashamed of myself, and sick all the time. He does all this stuff for me - helped me with a new roof, repairs to drywall in the house (he did damage to the walls which he has fixed) Brought me firewood - wood heat here. Food etc. I feel like I am a bad whore - I can't let him touch me ...I get sick to my stomach - yet there is still this damn attachment. To my house of 20 years - this little community I have lived in for 50 years. I have read up of the stockholm syndrome and that makes sense to me...but yet here I am still...What the hell is wrong with me -
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