my dad had to pay our house taxes, they were delinquient and the house was getting ready to go up for auction. my dad is FURIOUS, saying "we" should be able to support ourselves (he is absolutely right, i feel like a pathetic failure.) i have been trying to find a job, but i'm only skilled at retail sales, and the hours mess up my kids needing care, i can't afford sitters or daycare, i'm trying my best, BUT I AM LOSING IT!! i MADE my husband talk to my dad, and my husband has been so pissed with all of this, he could care less about what it is doing to me, now my family WILL NOT help me at all. my husband says he's going to "try" to sell his car to pay my dad back - like that can fix the emotional damage between me and my parents. he says he doesn't give a shit about that. our power bill is $700.00, our phone bill is $312.00 - it's STILL turned off. water bill is $300.00. they turned off our gas last winter, we are sharing one car and we can't even keep gas in it for a week. he told me i had $20.00 for groceries - FOR A WEEK. now i've been throwing up every 30 minutes, choking, crying, HE DOESN"T EVEN CHECK ON ME. now my little girl doesn't care either, it's terrifying to see her act like him, he is so void of any feelings, it's freaking me out, like he's not human. my dad said if we can't pay the bills and keep the house up, then me and adele should go to a shelter. what's gonna happen to all of our things? we can't afford storage, and my parents have already said NO HELP from them. i want to overdose but i dont have enough pills. i know the outcome, even if he leaves like he is saying he will, i can't make it. i have ruined my life and worst of all my childrens lives. i am a horrible mother and I DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!
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