first i need to say i am not so confused anymore more so hurt and in disbelief.Its has been 5 whole days now.In that i mean ignoring me,silent treatment,demeaning all of that .Tonight after earlier saying he was giving me his word that he would talk to me he came home and i was calm and just tried to talk have him talk.He just berated me more and rolled over.Blew me off.HE told me that i should learn to cope with this.I asked some questions.HE said of things he did not like and was so mean and cruel while doing so.Arrogant.I sat there took it because if i get into it with him its never good he only gets the best of me and also it makes him more mad.Its obvious to me its only his say that he wants.He was downright cruel.I tried tots talk reasonably as anyone would when trying to work something out he did not and sat in his entitlement.It hurt but i cried but not as much.I looked at him and for the first time in awhile i knew inside that he could not say those things yes there was the reason i got upset in the first its been there all along not only tis week but also all the other times.I doubted myself for nothing .I let him devastated me for nothing but to be fair to myself it was devastating.After all you get with someone to have a mutual life and when they tel you all the good things under the sun love you then hate it is devastating.Anyway i looked at him and i saw all the things that i would never like in a person it was disgusting i actually feel sorry for him in a way that he thinks this is gonna get him life.What he gets mad about to me is that i do not do what he wants or i challenge him.The issue is the abuse but to him it isn't its his right.That to me is sickening.I am calm about this now not o angry hurt yes but i know this is not he end more to come.I just walked away and it felt a little peaceful tome that he wasn't doing it verbally bashing me and discounting my feelings.Thats for tonight.The other times the looks the verbal war will come the insinuations,and the silent treatment and withholding of love will be there.I wont have peace with that.I am confused about how to handle it.I am told in ways don't take his crap ,by that i could take it as speaking my mind or walking away i do both.In the end he just wants what he wants so it wont end.Speak my mind he gets pist ,walk away he gets what he wants.So i don't know .I just read another post i think he is or has a personality disorder and no i don't think i can ever reason with him.He lies he manipulates deceives.He is entitled never wrong or wont admit to it.Its all i can take and if i ever get mad or fall apart he only rips me apart for it.Learn to cope with it.he says.I say how i feel about something he discounts says i hate when you say that crap....wheres the mutuality ,in a normal loving relationship you don't want to see the other person hurt.It both peoples wants needs.There is concern and caring.So i know this but it doesn't make it any easier or honestly know how to deal with it.I don't know how anyone can do that and he expects do do whatever and me never to react to anything.I could go on but i think i got what i needed to et out across.I hope.How can anyone do that?How do you deal?I think i cant try anymore.Whats the point.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...