Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I was recently beaten to the brink of death and kidnapped by my boyfriend of three years. I made it out alive, but only barely.
He had abused me before, his two girlfriends before me, would drive his car 100 miles plus every day (often drunk), dealt drugs, hijacked a van, and stolen thousands of dollars from many people using assault rifles. He would fantasize about doing things like murdering his father to collect insurance money. He had absolutely no regard for human life and would often call himself 'the devil'.
I pressed charges and the trial is coming up in a month. I know that my abuser needs to face consequences for his actions so he does not come at me again and will not injure other girls. I am sure that next time he will kill.
But if he is convicted of felony assault and kidnapping, he will be sent to the state prison. He will likely be raped (he is a very pretty preppy boy) and be subjected to all the horrors of jail. It is very hard for me to imagine this; I would not wish this upon anyone.
I don't think I have a choice in the matter, even if I did not want to testify, the DA already has my story and the evidence. The state has now taken up the case. I feel that it is my duty to myself and the community to testify.
I am haunted with thoughts of not doing the right thing. I wish there was an alternative way for him to face consequences- like mandated therapy, or going to a behavioral clinic. I want him to be rehabilitated, not crushed.
Any reflections on this?
He had abused me before, his two girlfriends before me, would drive his car 100 miles plus every day (often drunk), dealt drugs, hijacked a van, and stolen thousands of dollars from many people using assault rifles. He would fantasize about doing things like murdering his father to collect insurance money. He had absolutely no regard for human life and would often call himself 'the devil'.
I pressed charges and the trial is coming up in a month. I know that my abuser needs to face consequences for his actions so he does not come at me again and will not injure other girls. I am sure that next time he will kill.
But if he is convicted of felony assault and kidnapping, he will be sent to the state prison. He will likely be raped (he is a very pretty preppy boy) and be subjected to all the horrors of jail. It is very hard for me to imagine this; I would not wish this upon anyone.
I don't think I have a choice in the matter, even if I did not want to testify, the DA already has my story and the evidence. The state has now taken up the case. I feel that it is my duty to myself and the community to testify.
I am haunted with thoughts of not doing the right thing. I wish there was an alternative way for him to face consequences- like mandated therapy, or going to a behavioral clinic. I want him to be rehabilitated, not crushed.
Any reflections on this?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
"I know that my abuser needs to face consequences for his actions so he does not come at me again and will not injure other girls. I am sure that next time he will kill."
He has put himself in this position, and now he, who has hurt you so badly, and maybe others, will face his punishment.
I dated a man such as this for 6 months. He chased me around the country. He couldn't find me (I changed my name, lied about my social security number and began a new life in a strange land. BUT the next woman he encountered was stabbed in the chest 5 times. She was the mother of 3.
Do the right thing.
Then get into therapy and root out why you spent one minute of your precious life with someone such as he.
It is a decision of what MIGHT happen to him in jail vs. what WILL happen if he remains in society.
Right now you need to focus on how he needs to be removed from society as a threat and suffer the consquences of his actions. Let the legal system and the "what mights" take care of themselves. You owe that to yourself and his other victims and you will be doing a service to your community by helping remove a menace.
He is likely to try to make you feel guilty about doing this, and horror stories of what happens behind bars can be one way of doing that. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, because I know that it does, but this guy sounds like one who can "take care" of himself. You will not effect prison reform with this one case, and anything less than a prison term will do this guy no good. He really needs a wake-up call.
You can forgive him... but forgiveness does not entail letting him stay free to hurt other people.
He is a sick person that needs to be removed from society. And if it happens that he is a "bitch" in jail...well, in my opinion he will be recieving his just desserts.
the chances of this individual becoming rehabilitated are slim to none. He made his choices and now he must face the consequences of those choices