I am in an 8 year marriage with a man I love dearly although through the years I've learned to watch what I say. He seems to get angry over the smallest things. Tonight he is mad because I wouldn't go to eat with my parents by myself. The reason I chose not to go is that he has been complaining that I don't want to be around him. This is not the case. I get blamed constantly for things I have done or not done. He puts me down daily (he says I can't take a joke.) He relives my past on a weekly basis where I get called a slut. I went through a brief stage before we began dating where I went out clubbing with my friends. I had a couple of one night stands. I realized quickly that was not the life for me. God has forgiven me, I have forgiven myself, why can't he forgive me? I just want my marriage to work! As a Christian, I pray that things will get better. They usually work out, but not in my time. I just worry about when it will happen next. I don't have anyone to talk to. I am the person that has it all together! I have a bunch of people fooled! They see my parents as the model home, so I should too. I didn't mean to ramble. This is just the first time I have ever gotten to share any of this.
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