Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Our abuser has been out of the picture for almost over a year now. Yay! Yet we still feel his touch. My kids do not display proper manners in social settings even though I have taught them. They get comfy and act out all over the place it has alienated some of my close friends that do not understand what we've been through. The most difficult thing is that my new boyfriend a very kind and loving person, was abused by a stepfather and when they do crazy stuff that they learned from a**hole without thinking. It triggers bad emotions and for now I have to exclude them from our plans. I understand it, but it hurts too, and I know heis still healing too. I am just sick of hearing my kids need more dicipline . I already know they do! Proper dicipline which contrary to popular belief is: LOving Guidance not grounding them all the time. I just mostly need to know Is ther anyone else experiening this dilemma?
deleted_user
You are probably not going to like what I say, but...do I understand you right that you exclude your kids from plans with you and your boyfriend? I understand that you need companinship. But, kids will take much more time to get over things, give them your undivided attention, dont exclude them..perhaps get counseling on how to help them cope, or go to family counseling.
deleted_user
hi , i guess i should have clarfied... The boys are in counsling I am trying to find a group or terapist i'm comfy with. If the kids are not included it's because I(we) need grown up time. The main thing I want to know is : Do other peoples kids just act mean or crazy for no reason,thus alienating themselves from good relationships? I suppose it is a deffense mechanizim, but man, sometimes, yikes! My boyfriend is understanding and very patient yet he also had to draw the line at the disrespect and abusive attitudes they were displaying in his house. That all said we realized the kids just are going to need alot more time to adjust to me dating again. And we need to plan ahead more for our time. I just need some empathy and understanding on the situation please.-trgrl99
deleted_user
I think ,so long as you are not out with the guy all the time ,it is best to keep him and the kids separate for now ,you are doing the right thing .I hate how people feel the kids have to get used to new boyfriends and force the kids to be around the guys .Some even make the kids call the new guy Dad ext .it is so unfair ,you dont know if the relationship will last and then if it doesnt they have to adjust all over again.. The kids need time with you and lets face it ,boyfriends need attention and so you have less for the kids .In time when they are more settled this can change .Other people do have the same problems as you they just dont like to admit it ...keep up the caring and you will get there .yes kids need discipline but that is not the answer for every thing .I hate how people point fingers and say "that kid needs a good belting " but those same people would be horrified if you actually did what they said. They it would be "OMG did you see that bitch beat up her kid" lol do the best you can and give it time ...
deleted_user
Hey there. I am a kid who used to act out against my parents because of what happened to me, althought I do dare to say they are a lot less understanding then you seem to be. Nothing calmed me down, just dont ground them or any of that nonsense, it never works. Use positive and negative reinforcement or whatever, Im still new to psychology. I hope this advice helps u; just give positive reactions when they behave and negative ones when they dont. Eventually they will snap out of it, dnot worry.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
