i had a big fight with my mother the other day - awhole lot of the past was brought up. this is only the second time i have tried to talk to her about the pain she caused. the first time was over 8 years ago and all she said to me then was that i deserved it. this time she wont admit it was more than once and that i should grow up and get over it and that i cant be angry anymore as because i was a child then. im not allowed to hold it against her and that i should stop being silly. she makes me dought myself in the fact that i am being silly by still holding it against her or do i still have the right to be angry? this was years of physical and mental abuse i suffered from her but it was years ago. i have never felt loved by her and then all of a sudden she moves to another country away from me and now she is telling me she loves me. i feel as if im the adult and shes the child as sometimes when i talk to her she puts her fingers in her ears and nah nah nah im not listening is all that comes out of her mouth - shes 55. i kind of feel that i do have the right to be angry or should i just let go and continue to pretend that nothing happened? HELP either way i feel i cant win and that i have to be stuck with this pain. it still hurts and i still cry. all i want is for the pain to be gone but i find it so hard with not being able to talk about it with her to try and heal the wounds - why does she still continue to hurt me. am i best to cut her out of my life???? please give me some advice!!!
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