So, I'm reading that book "The verbally abusive relationship" by Patricia Evans. She talks about how an abuser and their victim normally live in "2 different realities". I really agree with this. My H is impossible to understand, predict, satisfy...but he would deny all of that. He thinks he is completely rational (not even close), his opinion is the ONLY one that can ever make sense (even if there is physical proof otherwise). He can have an episode where his verbal abuse is off the charts cruel, and then just act like nothing happened or he was "joking". I feel like this is really driving me crazy. For one reason, the fact that he usually downplays what actually happened always makes me question myself. I wonder if I WAS being over-sensitive (I know this is discussed in the book as well). But over the years, I really have become de-sensitized to him. Yet I still find myself wondering if I remember the incidents correctly. I dont want to be dragged down into his reality. I'm not even sure he knows he's doing this. Has anyone else dealt with someone who you just cant make heads or tails of...even after several years. And how can I make anybody understand how this is destroying our relationship. Nobody gets it and everyone just tells me "it's just immaturity" and "all men are like this". FRICKING FRUSTRATING!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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