Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have been emotionally (and, in one incident, physically) abused for most of my life. I don't remember much of the worst phase now (I guess my mind's hiding it from me), but the terror, anxiety and grief still sits in my body, manifesting itself as tensions, occasional depression and a horrible stutter that's developed the last year or so. My family's in shambles, my mother's on the brink of a mental breakdown and I'm dead worried about my brother, who's forced by his father (my main abuser) to come visit him regularly every week. The guy's a psychopath, and so manipulative that no one believes us when we tell the authorities about his true nature. In all of this I'm trying to deal with my own problems, which have resurfaced together with my mother's growing problems; personally I believe she might have PTSD (no wonder) and shows signs of being bipolar - she sure has troubles managing her anger and handling stress. How do you deal with memories you can't fully remember in your head, only in your body? How to deal with pent- up emotions from way back in time when the same emotions seem to swallow you up in the present? How to cure yourself in such a negative environment?
-
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
-
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
My situation is similar to yours. The first time I realized how bad the things I couldn't remember was whn I was 19. I was living with a boyfriend. He lost his temper (not violent) and I had a panic attack, started shaking, and just about lost it. I still fear for my brother, who remains in rare contact with our father, whom I made the healthy decision to cut out of my life last year sometime.
I guess just take it a day at a time. When those blacked out memories cause you trouble, deal with your reactions, you can learn to have control over your feelings to an extent. And just let each day be just today!
Be there for your brother when he needs it, and make sure that if he feels unsafe in any way, he tells someone. I know where I live, you can start making decisions at 13 as to whether or not you live with one parent or another, that should include visitation also.
Stay strong!!!! Sending my Luv your way!!!! If you need to talk to someone who just understands I'm here!
This is a good question that you ask!! I lived with physical and emotional abuse for years. I had a nervous breakdown in my mid 20's because I either wouldn't or couldn't be honest with myself at the time about all I had been through. I started getting better when I began to see a GOOD therapist who could walk me through these frightening feelings. I would never attempt to do it alone. After about a year, I saw a significant change. I read a lot of books about my problem to understand what I was dealing with and encouraging books to help me get in tough with my spirituality. I can actually remember the day and always will when everything began to turn around for me. I got down on my knees for the first time in years and said a prayer asking God for help because I couldn't do it alone. Suddenly, I felt this strange urge to find my Bible. I was almost in a panic looking for it and I started reading the words of Christ written in red from the book of Matthew. I wanted to hear it from the man HIMSELF and after about an hour I began to cry because a peace came over me that I hadn't felt in years. Since then I know that I'm never alone. I can always take my problems to HIM.
Maybe something I said helped a little??? Let me know if you ever need a listening ear...
Most of my memories are incomplete. During processing, I process mostly body sensations as my memories are old and that is where they are stored.
hkteeta - I do try to do everything I can for my brother; I've promised myself that we will come through this and be even stronger in the end. My brother is one of the few people in my family whom I truly love. In my country, the child's voice counts at the age of 12, where the parents and advisors have to listen to what the child has to say (but they still might do whatever they please as long as they consider the child's opinion). I hope he will be okay till then.
twinkle39 - prayer is a good way for self- help, I'm sure. I'm not a Christian, more of a Pagan, I guess, but I agree that prayers and meditation to/with the appropriate deity helps coping with the issues.
BettyB - I haven't heard about EMDR... I don't think it's very well- known up here. I'll have to look it up =)