For the longest time I only thought abusive relationships happened to other people or in the movies, but certainly not to ME...that all changed when i turned 19 and transferred to a new college. The hottest and most popular guy on the rugby team wanted to date me and I thought i was the luckiest girl in the world but 4 months into the relationship the verbal abuse began; he would tell me what a slut i was, how i was conspiring to leave him, how all my friends were negative influences on my life, that i was too attached to my parents, and that i should quit my sorority because they didnt really care about me. I thought all of that was normal i thought he said it because he loved me, and i never thought someone so well liked and so good looking could be so evil, needles to say i stayed with him. 6 months into the relationship he started slamming me against the walls or holding me down on the bed and choking me if we got into a fight, he cut me off from all of my friends, forced me to dissafiliate from my sorority, and got all my online passwords so he could "moniter" me because i was such an "uncontrollable whore". One night he put me into the hospital after throwing me down a hill and that was only the beginning, it got worse and worse and i stayed with him for 3 whole years! Now i am 22 and have finally ended the relationship which i thought would have made me feel like a whole new woman but instead i feel dead inside i feel like a hollow shell of my former self. I never feel happy anymore and having lost all of my friends during the course of my relationship i feel completely alone and isolated. I dont feel like things will ever get better for me or that i will ever be able to get my life back on track, at the age of 22 i feel like my life is over, like he has robbed all of my happiness and i am left soulless and broken. I don't know what to do...my parents don't understand, my sister doesn't understand everyone just tells me to move on but I can't im trapped in this black hole in my brain that he has pummeled into me. Can anyone please give me some advice as to how to deal with these horrible feelings? Has anyone else ever been in the place that I'm in now, how did you heal? Am I broken forever?
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