My stbx enjoyed the physical pain he created. In and out of the bedroom. Feeling ill talking about it. He would say that sex was for him and not the woman. It was my duty as his wife to give him everything he wanted, to bad if it hurt, or made me bleed, he said I was pityful and desevered to be hurt. Finally(after he smashed my knee)I told him to never go to sleep in my house cause I would kill him. He stopped. That was 4 yrs ago haven't had sex since. I hate it, want nothing to do with it. Now I want to be close to someone but scared to death. I'm physically sick every time I think about someone else touching me. I would like to find happiness and not be alone forever. How can I even get close to a man without flinching?
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