I rememeber the abuse although i have tried to run away from it hide from it loes it in the past...I've tried to forget the amount of times i really thought that my own death was sitting next to me awaiting for me to come....when every single inch of your body aches and you physically have no strength left to breath.....When you alomst want to welcome death its self you want to be...Just be.....Your head is throbbing and you can not cry....Because every thing aches even inside....And you just keep thinking what have i done why is it me why whats cause this tonight today what causes this abuse anyway...It may be in the past and not happening today but the memories are there they stick all the same .....The pain is endless and sometimes you scream because u are so scared why daddy why are u beating me....Your siblings sit they dare make a move you see the expressions on ther face they so much wanna reach out they just want to say.....No one talks up no one says a word.....Your the one he has picked he hates you....You've heard his words....i always wished that i could be one of them... sitting there on the sofa knowing that they would never have to endure the pain that i was....I was an out sider and often i would sit on the stairs listening as the laughter wrapped around me.....My family enjoying them selfes.....I know that he use to abuse them also hit out at them but my beatings were more severe....They would not stop i couldn't even remebere when they started.....Blood would often come from my ears eyes mouth nose....My body was covere from head to toe in bruies and scares all a reminder of thoes days when my daddy use to beat me and rape me a child in pain
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