My husband of 2 1/2 years is very emotionally and psychologically abusive towards me. He has called me names, threatened to divorce me because I was not the way that he wanted me to be, yelled at me, cussed at me, given me the silent treatment, told me that he wished he had never married me, and blamed me for his temper and everyone thing else that doesn't go the way he wants it in his life. Last night he threw away flowers that I had had sent to him on his birthday on the 16th of March and broke the vase all over the floor telling me this is what I think of what you do for me. Then telling me that I never do anything for him---locking me out of the bedroom so that I can't get in until I threatened to call the police on him then that was what made him open it--showing the coward that he truly is inside. This has been going on for 2 years now in different forms and always with the emotional abuse and then he is sorry and it will never happen again and promising me that it won't but at the first opportunity to abuse he does it again. The man did not have an abusive childhood and grew up with parents who were very loving and kind and good to each other so there is no excuse that he can fall back on to be the type of person that he has chosen to be. I hear from him that I am the worst wife he has ever had(there have been two others), that I was probably a bad mother (I have one grown son who graduated college and is doing very well at 30 years old) because his own kids are self-centerd and lazy and never even bother to call or get him anything for his birthday or Christmas with the youngest ones being 12 and 15, he tells me that no one has ever treated him as badly as I have when I bring him peanuts from the store next door at work because I know that he likes them and just want to do that for him and have done things like that over and over again, I don't even so much as get flowers on Mother's Day or my birthday or any kind of consideration like that, he considers material gifts the only things that matter, and this list goes on and on and he will be nice as long as you aren't disagreeing with him or going against his opinion about things---it just never works and then when I leave and I stay away, I get a call that tells me how sorry he is and it will never happen again and why don't I come home--guess this all sounds familiar like the classic controlling abuser right? Yes, I know that it is now over and that the last thing he said to me was how much he hated me and wished that he had never married me--well, with destructive and emotionally destroying words like that what else do you do except give up. I know that I tried my best and that in his eyes it will never be good enough because he is an abuser. I guess I just wanted support and to be able to get my feelings out. We all know how it destroys the heart and soul to go through an abusive relationship and how we have a long road back to be able to be OK again. I don't believe in love and relationships anymore and I do wish that it could have been different and that I didn't have to feel that way but the fact is that I do feel that way now. I hope this will help someone else to get out before they reach that point and that they do have the chance to find that truly good person out there.
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