I get really really happy, and then crash. Not always, but I think this year will be tough, because I've had a bunch of things happen. Good luck, it definitely is a difficult time.

I get emotional this time of the year because it is supposed to be a loving time with family and friends, not getting emotionally and verbally assaulted by wife and kids

I get this way because all my life I was made to please others. Please them in what ever way they wanted. So at the holidays, I am suppose to buy gifts for them which once again goes to pleasing them. I dont want to please them anymore. But if I dont please them then I am not keeping the peace which I have also been 'trained' to do for so many years.

You are not alone Stingray. Not by a long shot. I have spent many nights awake crying. My husband ignores me. But honestly, it's beyond that. At a time when everyone is buying gifts, playing music, baking, etc. I feel like I'm going in reverse.

Someone told me that I needed to stop, slow down and take care of ME. They said to stop worrying about the perfect house, gifts, cookies, whatever. Do a little then do something for YOU. It doesn't have to be expensive or lavish.

The point was not to expect to much from yourself OR the holidays in general. I think it's just these expectations that we set up and NOTHING can ever measure up.

I WILL NOT say to NOT cry. I think crying is good. But if you find you're crying TOO much, check with your doctor, you may have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) or be in more than the blues, rather in depression which can be treated.

In any case, DO NOT give up hope. Start today and do something you ENJOY, treat yourself like you wuold a friend who was feeling this way.

Let me know how you're doing...as the holiday progresses....

Love and hugs,

Morus

This year is going to be especially tough for me. My sister is hosting a "bury the hatchet" Christmas which should be very healing for our family, and i will not be able to go. My daughter is still not talking to me because of the abuse she suffered from her father. It will be my second Christmas in a row alone, and I am not used to that.

md78,

I am just like you, I have been trying to keep peace in the family so I please wife with anything she wants, while at the same time bearing the blunt of her verbal abuse and emotional abuse towards me and the kids.

I'm doing the best that I can to have a little joy but not too much stimulation in my home. The pain is too raw and the holidays makes it more emotional. I'm not having a tree this year but have put out a very few special things, like glass snowball music boxes and an old world Santa. My favorite items. Hugs to all of you here. XOXO

Yes, Christmas is a difficult time for lots of people including me. I try to stay busy, I do like the lights and enjoy decorating the house, it keeps me busy. I try not to think about the past and I really try to concentrate on what I have now to be thankful for.