
Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Can anyone help a 35 year old woman let go

deleted_user
I was severely abused growing up. I had very bad allergies, especially to dogs and cats, but my parents still allowed 1 of each to occupy our home, making me sick every single day. I also had bad asthma, but they both heavily smoked in front of me. My mother and my father's sister, my aunt, played tug of war with me: When I was at home w/ my Mom, I had to act one way, I had to promise not to tell anything going on at home to my aunt. When I was w/ my aunt, she had a completely opposite set of rules that I had to follow, and although she wanted to know what was going on at home, I was not allowed to tell my mom what went on when I was with her. This went on for years until I was 8, the year my father left us (Mom, older brother, younger sister, me) and moved in immediately w/ his 20 year old girlfriend. He went out to get a vacuum cleaner and never came home. The plumbing in our house didn't work because he tore it apart then never fixed it. We lost heat in the house a few months later, but he would not pay once cent of anything until he was forced to by the courts, 1 1/2 years later. My mom got sick 3 years later (died when I was 13), and I guess because my Dad didn't want us, we were made to go live w/ my aunt. Oh, did I tell you about the 8 hour nosebleed. A few months before my dad left, I had gotten a nosebleed. My aunt (very religious) told me that she and God would be able to stop it. Well, 8 hours later it hadn't stopped. My grandmother (my grandparents lived there too), was so upset and screaming at her that she finally called an ER and they told her what to do. When she did it, the nosebleed stopped with in 2 minutes. Believe me, it gets worse.
I will write later with more.
Anyone know how to overcome this and how I can move on and stop feeling like I deserved it?
I will write later with more.
Anyone know how to overcome this and how I can move on and stop feeling like I deserved it?

deleted_user
Of course you didn't deserve it but I understand the feeling.

deleted_user
It sounds like you have been through alot. You were a child you had no control over the situation your parents created so you have nothing to blame yourself for. You can create your own way of being now and it can be whatever you choose. I would suggest some counselling or reading. There are lots of books out there that might help. We all need to learn to forgive our parents for the mistakes the made, they are only human after all. Trying to understand what made them who they are and why they may have behaved the way they did can help. I had plenty of issues with my father and it took several years to forgive but before he died last year i believe i put the past to rest and we had a good relationship. I guess i am trying to say you can get past this and create a loving caring future for yourself, good luck, I wish you all the best, you do deserve it xx

deleted_user
You have to get it all out of you first. Then you can move to a spot where you're not letting the pain of the past ruin the present moment.

Loved1
Speaking with a counselor who is experienced in the areas we need help with is priceless, and many are sliding scale or free (I got mine through a domestic violence shelter). You are not alone! Journaling and spirituality help me.

deleted_user
I'm 35 years old too and what I can't let go of is the anger and hatred towards them. Looks like you're just the opposite, turning it in on yourself instead. Somebody let us know what to do! Na, if anyone here knew they'd a be a millionare. I used to hate myself but I say hate them instead, it does feel better.
Join the Conversation
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...