I was severely abused growing up. I had very bad allergies, especially to dogs and cats, but my parents still allowed 1 of each to occupy our home, making me sick every single day. I also had bad asthma, but they both heavily smoked in front of me. My mother and my father's sister, my aunt, played tug of war with me: When I was at home w/ my Mom, I had to act one way, I had to promise not to tell anything going on at home to my aunt. When I was w/ my aunt, she had a completely opposite set of rules that I had to follow, and although she wanted to know what was going on at home, I was not allowed to tell my mom what went on when I was with her. This went on for years until I was 8, the year my father left us (Mom, older brother, younger sister, me) and moved in immediately w/ his 20 year old girlfriend. He went out to get a vacuum cleaner and never came home. The plumbing in our house didn't work because he tore it apart then never fixed it. We lost heat in the house a few months later, but he would not pay once cent of anything until he was forced to by the courts, 1 1/2 years later. My mom got sick 3 years later (died when I was 13), and I guess because my Dad didn't want us, we were made to go live w/ my aunt. Oh, did I tell you about the 8 hour nosebleed. A few months before my dad left, I had gotten a nosebleed. My aunt (very religious) told me that she and God would be able to stop it. Well, 8 hours later it hadn't stopped. My grandmother (my grandparents lived there too), was so upset and screaming at her that she finally called an ER and they told her what to do. When she did it, the nosebleed stopped with in 2 minutes. Believe me, it gets worse.
I will write later with more.
Anyone know how to overcome this and how I can move on and stop feeling like I deserved it?