Many of us that have endured verbal, emotion or physical abuse from a spouse have heard the same old lines of "I'm sorry, I'll get help, I won't do this again" etc. My husband has said these things many times but always with conditions..."I'll do better if you realize what you do to set me off...." or "This is not all my fault, you play a big role that you need to get help for". He has always denied being abusive. Recently my husband actually admitted he was abusive and that I did not cause any of this or deserve it. He realized that his deep anxiety and depression contributed to his behavior and finally had the revalation that his father whom until very recently he idolized, was abusive to him. He went his Dr. and was put on paxil and restoril and had scheduled weekly counseling sessions and is looking for a support group or program for abusers. I know the facts are most abusers never change, but has anyone experienced real change and reform from an abusive partner, and what does it really take to make this happen? I'm hopeful but guarded.
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