My boyfriend and I had only been together for a couple of months when I found out that I was pregnant. We had just moved 2 hours away from our friends and families so he could start a new job. I had just lost my job and was collecting EI. I was having some problems making my truck payment one month so I got a payday loan without telling him. And then I was a couple of days late paying it back, they called the house and left a message that he heard. He freaked out and wanted to know why i "lied" to him. I explained that it was my bill and that it had nothing to do with him and that i didn't expect him to pay it. And ever since then I've been called a liar. The entire 9 months of my pregnancy was living hell. He would go out drinking and then come home at 2 in the morning to wake me up screaming that i was cheating on him. I couldn't even go to the grocery store without being accused of cheating. If i even talked to the landlord without telling him I was accused of sleeping with him. I can't tell you's how many times he told me to get out, only to pack my bags and then be screamed at for leaving. He got so angry one night he took the drawers out of my dresser and threw them down the hall and broke them. My daughter is now 5 months old, i've left him and am staying with my mom and stepdad. He doesn't support my daughter and he actually expects me to help him pay for the truck that he bought right before I left. He tells me that i've wrecked his life....he quit his good job to move back home because that's where the baby and I are. He is staying with his parents but still expects me to help him pay for his truck. He has another daughter whom he pays 70 a week for as well as paying a credit card off that him and his ex had together. She pays nothing on it. I have no job and am terrified that my daughter and I are going to end up living in poverty. My mom can't understand why I can't Just get over it.... I love and appreciate everything she's doing for me but I can't explain to her how I feel. I've heard it so much in the past year that I actually think that everything that has happened is MY fault. I'm so hurt and angry inside that I cry everyday. I don't want my baby to grow up like this. There's so much that I want to write but everything seems to come out not making much sense. I find it hard to talk to my friends and family about it because i don't want to burden them....I just need someone to talk to......
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