Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi
I feel a little humiliated posting to this group, but I just have to speak to someone.
.................
I have been married to my wife now for 24 years, all was fine until about 18 years ago.
Then the verbal abuse began, she would call me all sorts of things, tell me how useless I was all the time, and over the years it has got steadily worse, I started to suffer from severe depression about 15 years ago because of this, which in turn turned into severe "OCD" (obsessive compulsive disorder) I started obsessing over oral cancer, I was checking the inside of my mouth in a mirror over 60/70 times a day, this passed in the end with treatment and councilling and I seem to be doing OK now with OCD, I still have depression but it is more or less under control by large amounts of perscribed medication (30Mg of Mitrazapine daily, 60Mg Prozac daily and 15Mg Valium daily.
Anyway to cut a long story short I suffered a Heart attack in June of this year, which shook me up a bit as you can imagine.
But my wife is still constantly nagging/verbally abusing me, she says things like " I wish you had died when you had the heart attack" and things like that. I have to take it a bit easy due to my heart attack as ordered by the doctor, but I do my best, I cut the lawns, help with housework, I even made a hard standing for the car (which nearly killed me)so its not as if I'm just doing nothing, I go for my 30min brisk walk every day as excersise. but still she keeps saying hurtful things, like I'm always sat on my ass doing nothing, and other things all the time,She seems to get some sort of pleasure being nasty, I just dont understand it at all,
I quit smoking after my H/A, stopped now for almost 3 months, but I'm craving like hell for a fag now due to all this. I just feel like buying some smokes and giving up living instead, I can see no future at all for me, nothing, just blank despair. I have no goals, or interest in anything at all. I have given up. I can feel my depression building up again, I just dont know which way to turn, honestly I dont
Voyager
I feel a little humiliated posting to this group, but I just have to speak to someone.
.................
I have been married to my wife now for 24 years, all was fine until about 18 years ago.
Then the verbal abuse began, she would call me all sorts of things, tell me how useless I was all the time, and over the years it has got steadily worse, I started to suffer from severe depression about 15 years ago because of this, which in turn turned into severe "OCD" (obsessive compulsive disorder) I started obsessing over oral cancer, I was checking the inside of my mouth in a mirror over 60/70 times a day, this passed in the end with treatment and councilling and I seem to be doing OK now with OCD, I still have depression but it is more or less under control by large amounts of perscribed medication (30Mg of Mitrazapine daily, 60Mg Prozac daily and 15Mg Valium daily.
Anyway to cut a long story short I suffered a Heart attack in June of this year, which shook me up a bit as you can imagine.
But my wife is still constantly nagging/verbally abusing me, she says things like " I wish you had died when you had the heart attack" and things like that. I have to take it a bit easy due to my heart attack as ordered by the doctor, but I do my best, I cut the lawns, help with housework, I even made a hard standing for the car (which nearly killed me)so its not as if I'm just doing nothing, I go for my 30min brisk walk every day as excersise. but still she keeps saying hurtful things, like I'm always sat on my ass doing nothing, and other things all the time,She seems to get some sort of pleasure being nasty, I just dont understand it at all,
I quit smoking after my H/A, stopped now for almost 3 months, but I'm craving like hell for a fag now due to all this. I just feel like buying some smokes and giving up living instead, I can see no future at all for me, nothing, just blank despair. I have no goals, or interest in anything at all. I have given up. I can feel my depression building up again, I just dont know which way to turn, honestly I dont
Voyager
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
If your depression is rising, you need to see a doctor about meds and counseling. It would also be good to get your wife into counseling as well. It might just be time to remove yourself from this situation in order to learn to like yourself again.
When aperson is abused they often blame themselves etc, when it is the other person who really has the problem.You should consider, meds and counselling to help as you feel that your depression is rising again. Your wife is clearly unhappy herself, and needs some sort of psychological help as well.Take care.
Your wife needs help; she definitely has a problem!
I am going to give you the same advice as I give any DV victim - because that is exactly what you are. Get out of the situation.
You are ill and need some time to recover and rebuild yourself. Have you any family you can go to or friends the most vital thing is to get out.
Have counselling by all means, it will help to make you stronger and to understand that this is not your fault.
Your wife has become an abusive bully and you don't need to put up with that. Is your doctor aware of the situation? If so can he help? Please believe me you are not alone, I work with male victims of abuse and the one thing they all say is that they are ashamed to admit anything is wrong. 18 years is much too long to live like this and I am afraid that you need to make the changes yourself before your health suffers any more.
Please feel free to message me and talk if it will help, hugs Viv XXXXXX
Thank you all for your kind words and support, I wish I could leave, but I've nowhere to go, I have no brothers or sisters so I'm a bit stuck on that issue. thank's anyway,
voyager