Ive alwayse been ashamed of my past....Always thought that it was my fault that the things that happened to did happen to me for a reason and that was because of me ....I had it punched into me so many times that i deserved everything that i got.....My beatings which is exactly what they were was almost like torture....There was never a reason i felt that could deserve such horrific out burst of voilence...i use to think that i was going to die and even today i suffer with horrible health anxiety thinking that at any second i am going to die from a brain bleed or tumor...my head was beaten upon so much eyes brusied swollen lip cheeks eyes ears everything.....I would be voilently sick because every single bit of my body was aching i find it hard to believe ur head and body can be punched so much with out it causing long term damage i keep waiting for something to happening know as a result of the abuse
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