Ive lost all hope in honesty. It's a value I think that has been lost over time. I guess I trust too much when for the most part people are liars. No one cares about anyone but them selves. Who cares who gets hurt in the process. The man that gave me the promise to always be faithful and I believed him wholeheartedly. Even when I would get suspicious he would take all my worries away and I believed everything he said without a doubt in my mind that he was lieing to me. He said he dosnt have sex, he only makes love and the only person he would ever be with ever again would be me. These all happened recently since around thanksgiving and we have been together for over 2 years. I bet there has been more because the only ones he admitted to are the ones that I brought up in a letter because I suspected, so I'm sure there are many more than that. The one girl was so gross. I cant even descibe her. She probably slept with so many men for drugs and the sad thing is he slept with her for drugs. He already gave me hepatitis c now I have to go get an HIV test because all this time I thought I was safe. We were both tested and I believed that he was true to me. He said no other girl turned him on, I was it for him. ALways & 4ever. Thats what he always says. Then for my own cousin to betray me and then come here the next day comforting me and saying what an asshole he was. That was family. I am just that stupid that people see that they can use me for whatever and I'll do whatever I can to help anyone and the whole time its all a joke. No one really cares about me. They are just using me. My friend has been staying here sayin to help me out and stuff but I've found money missing and other things. She's known for being a thief but she supposed to be my friend. I dont know if I'll ever be able to trust anyone ever again.
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