In the past 10 years I've been with my narcissistic husband,the whole family dynamic has been less than wonderful. His children ran over me for years (they lived with their mother except on weekends and ALL summer, EVERY summer)because Dad always let them do what they wanted. My daughter was treated awfully at times, mostly by my husband, but at times by his children... and a lot of that was due to his goading. They are all grown now. His oldest daughter (which was not his bio child) does her own thing & we see very little of her. Next in age is my daughter who is at college now and doing quite well. This still amazes me after some of the things she's had to grow up with (and I feel so guilty about it and feel like I need to make everything up to her somehow). His next daughter has turned out quite well. She's kind and considerate, a hard worker and keeps in touch almost daily. His son, however, is getting into a LOT of trouble. He's 17. Dad just got him out of jail last week for marijuana charges. He's been having issues with drugs the last couple of years. Now he's being questioned for his involvement in a slew (I'm talkin like maybe 50!) of break-ins and theft. He could be looking at some very, very serious time. I'm told that if he cooperates, and gives up all his buddies and tells they truth they will probably go pretty easy on him and he could possibly come out with probation for everything. My husband is mortified at the thought of his precious son going to prison at all, much less many years. He acts like I should be all upset about it. He's even carried on that my daughter has my mom, his dd has his mom (his mother is a crazy narc too!) but poor, pitiful son has no one but us. That was headed in the direction that maybe I should ask my mother for money for a good lawyer since he thinks a public defender isn't going to be able to do much for him. My mother has helped and helped until she can't help us anymore. Another wonderful person I have hurt due to this relationship.

Why do I not care about what happens to this kid? You'd think, my step-son since he was 8 years old, I'd be really worried. I'm not.

I see so many of my husbands narcissistic traits in this child it blows my mind. The older he gets the more substantial it seems to be.

When he was around 9 years old he wanted to watch an R rated movie that I felt way wayyy too inappropriate for his age so I wouldn't let him. Dad went behind my back and rented it for him. I told him no, he was not going to watch it, and then I caught one of the first major rages that my husband threw on me and his son slides the movie in the vcr. At that moment, I knew our children would never be treated equally. That boy taunted me many times over the years with "Dad will let me" or "Dad said I could" and there was no arguing with it because Dad always gave him his way and I knew he would. All along, HIS SON was always given preferential treatment, given more of anything than the rest of them, was his little buddy-buddy. I resented it so much then but there was nothing I could do about it. Since he started getting into trouble we've told him he'd better straighten up, have tried to help him and told him what was going to happen.

Am I wrong to feel like it's about time this kid got caught? Am I supposed to feel more sympathy towards him? My husband keeps saying "imagine if it was your child that might be going to prison" and "they've ALLLL done things they shouldn't have".