Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
This is the thing. No matter how old I get I really want to please her, but she really knows how to hurt me. So this is what happened most recently. I live in the Southwest and she lives in the Northeast where I also grew up. I just had my first baby (a wonderful little boy) he is almost 4 months old and she has not come to visit. My husbands parents however, are from ENGLAND! And have already been to visit twice. Now, this is the deal. I come from a really big family of 10 kids and I still have five younger siblings living at home ranging from 15-7. Ever since I was a kid she has kept us away from extended family, using the excuse that she has x many kids and that they should be the ones to travel to her.
Well, my husband and I will be moving to England next year for a couple of reasons. One, to be closer to his retired parents--which will be really nice for our future kids! And two because of the opportunities for us out there. My mom keeps pressuring me not to leave the country and I said, but won't it be great you'll have a chance to visit somewhere new and travel? She told me in no uncertain terms that she will not visit me if I move to England.
Honestly, what the hell!!!!!!!!! She has done this so many times I don't know what to say anymore. When I lived in California she wouldn't come visit me because she grew up there and said she was "done" with that state. She said she wouldn't come to my wedding because it wasn't in the church (I'm not religious, she is) and now, she hasn't even been to see her FIRST grandchild. Initially, she was supposed to come right after the baby was born, but she decided she didn't want to "share" her time with the baby with my husband's parents. It would have been the one time that they could have met.
I'm so tired of this. I'm really thinking about cutting off contact with her altogether. Recently, my younger brother moved in with me to go to college (yes, I'm paying, my mother doesn't want to take out a school loan for him because she doesn't want to ruin her credit...whatever!) and he mentioned she might "suprise" visit us for Christmas. I don't want her too. It is too traumatic and I want my little baby's first Christmas.
Should I e-mail her and tell her that she is not welcome to visit during Christmas? My only other thought is to leave town for Christmas so I don't have to deal with it.
Well, my husband and I will be moving to England next year for a couple of reasons. One, to be closer to his retired parents--which will be really nice for our future kids! And two because of the opportunities for us out there. My mom keeps pressuring me not to leave the country and I said, but won't it be great you'll have a chance to visit somewhere new and travel? She told me in no uncertain terms that she will not visit me if I move to England.
Honestly, what the hell!!!!!!!!! She has done this so many times I don't know what to say anymore. When I lived in California she wouldn't come visit me because she grew up there and said she was "done" with that state. She said she wouldn't come to my wedding because it wasn't in the church (I'm not religious, she is) and now, she hasn't even been to see her FIRST grandchild. Initially, she was supposed to come right after the baby was born, but she decided she didn't want to "share" her time with the baby with my husband's parents. It would have been the one time that they could have met.
I'm so tired of this. I'm really thinking about cutting off contact with her altogether. Recently, my younger brother moved in with me to go to college (yes, I'm paying, my mother doesn't want to take out a school loan for him because she doesn't want to ruin her credit...whatever!) and he mentioned she might "suprise" visit us for Christmas. I don't want her too. It is too traumatic and I want my little baby's first Christmas.
Should I e-mail her and tell her that she is not welcome to visit during Christmas? My only other thought is to leave town for Christmas so I don't have to deal with it.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
This is a big step - you need to be prepared for what may happen. This kind of action can alter your life. If you decide to do this - I wish you the best of luck. As I said it was the best decision I have ever made - to stop talkng to my mother.