Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hello, I just joined this community. I've been working on healing from sexual abuse and I realize that the physical and emotional abuse in my family as a child was a big part in why I couldn't do more to stop the sexual abuse. Nobody was accessible to me. I lived in fear of my father and my mother was just trying to survive, being too afraid to JUST GET OUT, so the next in line to be my protector was my older brother who also physically and emotionally abused me, taking after his parents, and later began sexually abusing me. I blame him for his part of the abuse, though I know it was a learned behavior (however, I know he knew right from wrong, because I certainly did), but I also blame my parents. My father is 83 yrs. old now and I've learned to love him, but when I start thinking about how little he thought about me, and everything I had to endure to stay out of his way, I wonder if I really do love him or if I'm still trying hard to get his approval. How could I love a man that is still causing me so much pain daily? This is very confusing to me. Does anyone have any words of wisdom, and can anyone relate to the way I feel?
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
Oddly enough, I still care in some ways. I wouldn't call it love because I feel no affection watsoever for either of my parents.I do feel some compassion, though. Through my own struggles have gained insight into their struggles. This isn't a way for me to absolve them of responsibility--they are responsible for their actions--it is just that I have arrived at a deep understanding of how they were capable of doing the cruel things they did day after day.
In answer to your question, I think it is possible to love your father in spite of the abuse you experienced at his hands. Some of care even though we have every reason to NOT care, or to even hate. For example, I moved in with my mother because the factory where she works will soon close and she will lose her house once she cannot afford to make the payments. I prefer to live alone and I make enough--I was living by myself before this--but I just cannot bear to see her end up living in destitute poverty. She has had a hard enough life already.