Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hello, I just joined this community. I've been working on healing from sexual abuse and I realize that the physical and emotional abuse in my family as a child was a big part in why I couldn't do more to stop the sexual abuse. Nobody was accessible to me. I lived in fear of my father and my mother was just trying to survive, being too afraid to JUST GET OUT, so the next in line to be my protector was my older brother who also physically and emotionally abused me, taking after his parents, and later began sexually abusing me. I blame him for his part of the abuse, though I know it was a learned behavior (however, I know he knew right from wrong, because I certainly did), but I also blame my parents. My father is 83 yrs. old now and I've learned to love him, but when I start thinking about how little he thought about me, and everything I had to endure to stay out of his way, I wonder if I really do love him or if I'm still trying hard to get his approval. How could I love a man that is still causing me so much pain daily? This is very confusing to me. Does anyone have any words of wisdom, and can anyone relate to the way I feel?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
Oddly enough, I still care in some ways. I wouldn't call it love because I feel no affection watsoever for either of my parents.I do feel some compassion, though. Through my own struggles have gained insight into their struggles. This isn't a way for me to absolve them of responsibility--they are responsible for their actions--it is just that I have arrived at a deep understanding of how they were capable of doing the cruel things they did day after day.
In answer to your question, I think it is possible to love your father in spite of the abuse you experienced at his hands. Some of care even though we have every reason to NOT care, or to even hate. For example, I moved in with my mother because the factory where she works will soon close and she will lose her house once she cannot afford to make the payments. I prefer to live alone and I make enough--I was living by myself before this--but I just cannot bear to see her end up living in destitute poverty. She has had a hard enough life already.