Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I read someones post on here about whether grabbing someone's wrists and twisting their arms behind their backs was abuse or not. Or name calling and hitting walls and things. Or holding someone down and saying they are just doing it cause they want to talk. My ex used to do all those things but I never thought of it as abuse, just him being mad or having a bad temper and overreacting. I still think deep down that it wasn't abuse, I mean he never hit me really. And it wasn't all the time only when he was really mad. I used to get mad at him too, I would yell and tell him he was a jerk. I even pushed him sometimes but then I think he's a lot bigger and stronger than I am and just because I pushed him does that give him the right to hurt me? We are separated now, he lives in TN and I live in FL. But we still talk on the phone and he wants to see me again. I talked to him today about just being friends, he says he will but I don't know if he means it. I guess I am just wondering if I'm overreacting. I go back and forth thinking he was abusive emotionally for sure because of the things he would say to me and call me horrible names, then say he didn't mean it and he loves me so much. The wrist grabbing and holding me down didn't happen that often and when it did he would say he was playing or he would say he didn't think he was hurting me so much. Can anyone tell me if this sounds normal or not?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Red Flags can tell us that we need to tread water for a while, and reassess this relationship. If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may be in a potentially dangerous relationship!
Does he reject your right to decide if you'll use birth control?
Does he reject your right to decide whether to work at a paid job?
Does he refuse to let you spend time alone?
Is he upset you have other friends?
Is he displeased at your accomplishments and ambitions?
Does he have trouble accepting the fact that women can and should be wise, worldly, confident, strong, decisive and independent as men?
Does he refuse to talk and listen?
Does he hide from you the fact that his feelings are hurt?
Does he think its bad for men to show they are weak or vulnerable and to cry sometimes - aside from after he has abused you?
Is he unable to express affection aside from the times he's sorry for abusing you and when he wants, or you are having sex?
Are there some special traits about women's ability to express emotions, willingness to be vulnerable, that he admires
Does he dislike or degrade his mother or sister?
Does he lack good friends?
Does he lack interests besides you?
When angry, does he break or throw things?
Does he lose his temper over small things, especially when he doesn't perform as well as he would like?
Does he ask you about other men in your past life?
does he want to know where you have been when you have been out?
Does he believe husbands should make the important decisions?
Does he reject your opinion?
Does he think there are any circumstances in which it is okay for a man to hit a woman?
Is he jealous of your friends or relatives?
Does he think you are with another man when you are not home when he calls?
Does he think men should earn more than women in the same job?
Does he especially want baby boys and associates fathering boys with masculinity?
Does he think you have enough education even though you want to go to school?
Does he get angry if meals are late, or food isn't just right?
Does he take over when you are having trouble doing something whether you want to or not?
When he is hurt, does he act angry instead?
Does he silently sulk when angry?
Does he ridicule you for being stupid, or for characteristics that are typical of women?
Do you like yourself less than usual when you have been with him?
Has he spent time in jail?
Was he abused as a child?
Does he sometimes put you on a pedestal, saying he doesn't deserve you?
Are there some qualities you especially like about yourself that he disapproves of or ridicules?
When you have acted independently, has he called you a "woman libber" or "dyke"?
Has he been in fist fights or hit other women he's been involved with?
Has he ignored your feelings?
Has he continually criticized you, called you names, or shouted at you?
Has he ridiculed or insulted your religion, race, heritage, or class?
Has he withheld approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment?
Does he insult your friends and family?
Does he humiliate you in private or public?
Does he refuse to socialize with you?
Does he try to keep you from working?
Does he try to control your money?
Does he try to make all the decisions?
Does he make excuses for not working?
Is it all right to spend your money but not his?
Does his punishment of children seem excessive?
Does he tell you about past affairs?
Is he abusive to pets?
Does he tell anti-woman jokes or make demeaning remarks about women?
Does he treat women as sex objects?
Does he get jealous and assume you would have sex with anyone?
Has he publicly shown sexual interest in other women?
Does he call you names like "whore" or "frigid"?
Has he had affairs after agreeing to a monogamous relationship?
Does he assume the right to control how you live and behave?
Do you rehearse what you will say so as not to make him angry?
Does he bewilder you by switching from charm to rage without warning?
Do you often feel confused, off balance or inadequate with him?
Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong?
Do you fear his reactions?