Well today was more demeaning and awful than yesterday.He mistreating, cruel.Its a long story but i was at a park near his moms house waiting for her to get home since i had to return her car.I hadn't heard from him.I was sitting there thinking .It is the park where we had our first date and the place where he asked me to marry him.Anyway i saw him drive in and he got out talked to me so cruel and demanding.I said i guess this means its over he said ya.I said that because of the way he has been to me things he said.I was stunned hurt and was crying.He was mad at that.He kept demanding me to leave if i knew if she was home how he wanted to go home home.I was keeping him there.I wasn't she wasn't home yet and i couldn't return the car.I borrowed it.He was impatient rude hurtful mean.Yet it was my fault he was like that i did it.He said to never pull that again.Pull what?Feeling.It was a special place.I mean to all women isn't it a special place where a man asked you to marry them?It used to be to him.I even said give me a minute go there i will be there.He kept going at me insisting demanding.I just couldn't stop crying.finally i gave in.Tonight it was me i trapped him there he was hot said what kinda pants did i have on and you knew i didn't mean it was over and that i was blowing you off.I didn't.Then its like wait a minute you think its ok to blow me off.He made all kinds of demands on me tonight.Its what and when he wants or jurisdicts.He said he will make it better tomorrow,Thats is the deadline,then later said he will try at least.He wont cause he will only bark wait he wants to say and oh i interrupted him i spoke out of turn and count the number of times and instances in which i misbehave or act out.He does really!I am in shock.He wont work it out because he wont care or validate my feelings.To stay i have to give into this but yet he will want it to be right so if he feels it isn't im in trouble.I don't think he cares.He only cares about him.It was bad before but it is getting surreal.Unbelievable.I cannot take it.I walked away from his mothers and was gonna just go call a cab or something because he was belittling me in the driveway talking to me in such ways acting like a dictator.Then i walked like a mile just wanted to go.He stops then drives off then i come upon the park to rest he is there.Keeps saying get in the car over and over.Says it until he says if i left he would destroy himself like he did before he was with me.Then i did.Like a jerk.I just didn't know what to do.At home tonight he said that i pulled that.Everything it seems is me wrong somehow screwed up messed up.All by his rules.I was just quiet listened to it .It is in complete contrast to what he said last week and ridiculous.I was told what to do what he will do which isn't as how he says it, there is another meaning an out for him and why should i feel good about his deadline for it to be made right.I am hurting shocked angry belittled.I to him pull crap no matter what i do.I was talked to like a child.
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