Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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A letter??

What are your thoughts on writing a letter to my abuser as a way to try and move on from the abuse? Not even necessarily sending the letter, but just a way of releasing my feels and share it with my therapist?

What would i even write in the letter?

Replies

IDonna
IDonna

You could write your true feelings about what happened. You could pretend that you are talking face to face with your abuser and write
all your questions and feelings. I hope this helps. I find that writing letters about how I feel really helps me to heal. I don't send the letters
I usually tear them up or burn them.
Hugs
IleneW
IleneW

If one of the feelings you feel
is anger, write out the anger.
Write out what names you'd
call your abuser. Write out
your fantasies of revenge.

Write and write and write.

Then go to a barbeque pit
and light the letter on fire.
Livndadrem
Livndadrem

I agree. Writing a letter can be helpful (although I would STRONGLY advise against sending it). As for what to write, only you can know what you would like to say. And since nobody else need read it (unless you do want to show it to your therapist, if you think that will help), you can say anything at all. How you feel, what you think of him, what he did to you. Anything at all.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree, writing a letter to say what you would not say face to face is a great way to start healing. You can put your heart/fears/and feelings within that letter. You can share it with your therapist, but I wouldn't give it to my abuser. You need to heal in your own way, as of now you feel the abuser has a strong hand over you for what has happened. Writing that letter can be a strong powerful tool which you can when ready burn it to release all the pain and suffering you have gone through.

What to write--you need to be tough, strong, and truly put your feelings on paper. It could be 1 sentence or quite a few pages, you need to write down everything you feel, everything that has happened to move on and at the end--please put ' within my heart, I will try to forgive what has happened, not forget, but forgive to help lift the pain within your heart. I have found that holding that pain within your heart makes the healing harder--forgiving which is not easy will help ease the pain to help you move forward to healing and be the beautiful person you are. Good luck my prayers are with you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thanks to all who responded. I have begun the letter, its about 2 pages long so far...but i got too emotional and had to stop for awhile. i will continue the letter later tonight and tomorrow and hopefully have it done by tuesday so my therapist can ready it. and then i am going to burn it.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree, write alllllll these feelings and beliefs and thoughts and revenge that are bottled up inside. Reading it out loud to your therapist (if you trust your therapist) will be very helpful. Then you can decide what you want to do with that letter. You may find keeping it around in case you start to miss him will be useful for you.

Do not send it to him. He doesn't care. The letter is for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree, write alllllll these feelings and beliefs and thoughts and revenge that are bottled up inside. Reading it out loud to your therapist (if you trust your therapist) will be very helpful. Then you can decide what you want to do with that letter. You may find keeping it around in case you start to miss him will be useful for you.

Do not send it to him. He doesn't care. The letter is for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree, write alllllll these feelings and beliefs and thoughts and revenge that are bottled up inside. Reading it out loud to your therapist (if you trust your therapist) will be very helpful. Then you can decide what you want to do with that letter. You may find keeping it around in case you start to miss him will be useful for you.

Do not send it to him. He doesn't care. The letter is for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree, write alllllll these feelings and beliefs and thoughts and revenge that are bottled up inside. Reading it out loud to your therapist (if you trust your therapist) will be very helpful. Then you can decide what you want to do with that letter. You may find keeping it around in case you start to miss him will be useful for you.

Do not send it to him. He doesn't care. The letter is for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree, write alllllll these feelings and beliefs and thoughts and revenge that are bottled up inside. Reading it out loud to your therapist (if you trust your therapist) will be very helpful. Then you can decide what you want to do with that letter. You may find keeping it around in case you start to miss him will be useful for you.

Do not send it to him. He doesn't care. The letter is for you.