Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I recently got out of an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship. I was living in L.A. and at the final breaking point I decided to move back home to Washington state. Everything has been fairly calm since I have been back (he has only tried to contact me a couple of times since he found out I moved.) The problem is I think about the situation I was in a lot and I feel some what ashamed of myself and I keep repeating what happened over and over. Every night I have nightmares of being back with him or remembering the good times we had and waking up in tears. Its like he is literally haunting me. I have NO intentions what so ever to ever contact him again. I just feel like I have no one to talk to about how I feel. My mom and I have had a bumpy relationship, and though things are good between us right now she sees things very black and white "you'll get over it." "what do you even think about him?" "you are going to be fine." I haven't told my dad because I'm afraid of what he will think. And my friends seem to think I am being over dramatic. Maybe because none of them have been in an abusive relationship. I basically feel extremely lonely. The whole experience has left me exhausted and feeling like I just got back from war.
Does anyone have an advice? How should I deal with these emotions? I just want to hear from someone else who has been through an abusive relationship.
Does anyone have an advice? How should I deal with these emotions? I just want to hear from someone else who has been through an abusive relationship.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I looked up the info for PTSD and the symptoms were pretty dead on to what I have been experiencing. I totally understand living with someone unpredictable, it was so exhausting! Even now just spilling a class of water I have this fear come over me that someone is going to start yelling at me. I'm starting to get back into the routine of a normal life but it seems like I always have this voice in the back of my head keeping me sort of 'on edge.' Probably from never knowing what was going to happen next!
Thanks so much for your info/advice! I really do appreciate hearing from someone who has been in a similar situation!
Congratulations on getting out.
Here are some things you can do now:
Look for a counselor whose specialty is
PTSD or recovery from abuse.
Look for a support group, maybe at the
nearest women's center. (Relatives generally
are not the best source of support.)
Begin taking meticulous care of yourself.
Consider trying Ilene's Index Card exercise.
(It's here on the site. I'll bump it for you, or
you can PM me here and I'll answer any
questions for you.) I developed it and used
it to help get beyond the pain of leaving an
abusive partner. It worked so well, I shared
it with others and many have said it worked
for them, also.
Find ways to nourish and nurture yourself.
Believe with all your heart that no one has
the right to be disrespectful and abusive
to you for any reason.
LOVE YOURSELF.
Take good care!