Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
ve been with my bf for almost 3 yrs, up until about 4 months ago he was the sweetest most caring guy i knew he never even raised his voice at me... roughly about 4 months ago he out of no where he grabbed my arm and and as he started twisting it he punched me in my face! At first i wasin shock,but then i thought to myself well this was just a freak once in a nightmare thing. But then a week and a half later he caused me to have a miscarriage and over these last four months it has gotten a whole lot wrse! He just recently chocked me till i lost conciousness! My question is since this was just a recent change after almost 3 yrs could it be a phase and he just might go back to his normal self, or will it ever stop?
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
You are in a lot of danger and need to leave. Ilene will almost certainly post to say that a man who can choke is a man who can kill. What if he'd misjudged for a few seconds how long he could keep his hands around your neck? That is the difference between life and death.
Contact a women's shelter for support and advice since keeping safe is the most important thing for you in planning your escape. Don't let him know you are leaving either.
No matter what you tell yourself about "but I love him" you still need to leave. You wont keep loving him for ever now that you know what he is and that mr nice guy was all an act, and believe me, it' IS an act. Don't fall for it when he says he will change. The only way they can change is after YEARS of therapy.
Good luck and keep safe.
I know you posted this same thread on
the "looking for advice" board as well.
You have come to a forum on abuse
to explore if the physical violence that
has recently appeared in your relationship
is abuse or just a fluke.
A sweet, caring partner can occasionally
raise his or her voice, if he or she is having
a bad day and feeling stressed.
A sweet, caring partner, even one who's
feeling stressed and having a bad day
doesn't, ever, ever . . . . . NEVER. . .
won't. . . . . would never imagine, EVER
being physically violent
let alone
CHOKING THEIR PARTNER INTO
UNCONSCIOUSNESS.
This behavior is consistent
with an extremely dangerous
personality profile.
Staying with this kind of person
puts your continuing to live
at risk.
Please call the following number
(which is the Cal. Coalition against D.V.):
(310) 733-7311
and share with them what you've written here.
They will support your safety and
wellbeing.
All the best to you, Hon.
Please take good care of yourself.
Hugs to you for better days ahead...
It only takes him one time to hold on a little to long. It can only take one punch to end your life, or disable you for life.
It only will get worse and worse, by the control he gains. It's all about power and control with these guys.
They do not feel guilt, the honeymoon phase is only to control you into feeling safe.
He's ended the life of the child you were going to have. What is the sign you are looking for? For him to cry and beg for your forgiveness? FOr him to tell you his life is not worth living without you in it? For him to promise it will never happen again? For him to tell you if you wouldn't make him mad, he would not lose his temper? HA! How many times have we heard that?
Hugs to you, and be careful. I hope you make the call for help. Even though you may not feel in danger, you are.