Umm, I'll try to make this long story short... I'm 17. My dad and I dont' talk, mainly because I'm socially awkward and not very girly, and he wants the typical American daughter. Yesterday, he had one of his boiling point rages and I ended up getting my head banged against the table a couple of times with the pushes and smacks and whatnot. I feel uncomfortable going into detail too much, but some of the things he says really scare me. In the end, my mom made me go back and apologize for pushing him past his boiling point because I actually talked back this time. I'm confused over how I feel about the whole thing. How should I handle things so I'm no tin the wrong? I feel angry because I didn't want to apologize and I don't feel in control. Because I feel sore and my head is killing me. But I dont' want to be angry, because I dont' want to be like him. But I'm also sad and guilty because my mom and siblings say that it affects them and they want it to stop. My dad wants me to leave, this has happened before, I want to leave, but my mom wont let me. And today, she's acting like nothign happens. She even told me to ask him if I could use the medicine for my head. I'm so confused, and I know I only have one more year to worry about it, but I don't know how to deal with things until then. How do I handle this maturely and become a good person?
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