Is it normal to not be able to sleep during times like this? One of the things that I miss is the safety I used to feel when my husband was in bed with me at night. Considering that he damaged me relentlessly in waking hours, this was surely not true safety. It just seemed to be. So, now that I made the decision to leave him, I can't sleep. So far tonight in my dreams, I got on an elevator with a girl I had never met and it started swaying and then started to fall- 19 floors. We looked at each other like "is this really happening?" and then crouched and covered our heads to prepare for an unsurvivable crash. I "woke up" only to find myself in another dream telling my husband about it. He said with a chuckle, "There's a stop pedal on the floor of all elevators. If it starts to fall, just step on it." Then, I was involved in a major building project in Dubai. We were building condominiums on fabricated islands. Sand had been pumped in to create a foundation. The ocean all around was cloudy from all of the sand. Third party nationals were everywhere with blowers, filling the air with this chalky, acidic dust that everyone knew would cause silicosis. I was looking for my dogs. Saw some people I knew in the water swimming and thought of how nice it would be to get into the water if it were not so murky. I was cold and thought it would be warmer in the water. The people were swimming around a dock and happy. I accidentally dropped a huge medical book into the water. A shark came up- right beside a guy swimming- and started biting at the book. I yelled that there was a shark and to get out of the water. Many did. One girl who seemed to have some mental retardation was still in the water. She was fully dressed and clueless about the danger. We pulled her out. Then I noticed more sharks. There were about 8 of them bobbing in an unnaturaly way at the surface, bobbing perpendicular to the surface- biting the top of the water and anything nearby. They seemed to prefer books to people, so we started throwing books and large binders in to distract them. Then I realized my dog was still in the water. I have not seen this dog in 20 years, actually and currently have 2 little ones. He was a big husky chow mix and he was hanging on to the edge of the dock for dear life. A shark was trying to get him. I woke up with my heart racing and now am sitting here, exhausted, writing this.
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