Hi there I am new to this group. It took me a long time to figure out what my ex was doing to me and a week after he left I realized it. He was so charming filled with promises when we met. Then I moved to Germany to live with him and it ws good at first then he started to change. He started to yell at me for little things like giving him the wrong directions or not giving them fast enough cause he was speeding through town. it got really bad I was stuck in Germany with no money didnt know what to do and I just figured it was part of the stress of the job so I kept going. I got pregnant. We planned to move back to the US. We did that and things seemed okay but he was still angry. He would say things that he knew would bother me the most. I was just broken from it all in Germany that I started to block it out. After 5 years of marriage he left me for another woman. I didnt know what to do I fought to get him back and he did come back. When he left me he said that I was always mean to him and stuff like that. I never saw it that way because all I ever did was try to defend myself which I could not do. so he came back and things seemed good. I did everything for him and walked on eggshells to please him. He would also not let me sleep until he was asleep and when he woke up in the night he would start screaming and yelling that he never gets to sleep. Well I was the one getting up at 6 to get the kids on the bus and myself ready for work. So I would usually go on only 3 hours of sleep a night. so I was tired and emotionally drained. and he woudl complain tht I was tired all the time and didnt take time on myself cauee I was so tired! and no ambition to make myself up. Also the kids were not allowed to make any noise in the house. They could not cry or anything. And if they were bad they had to go get the spoon and he would hit them with it. he tried saying that I was the cause of his anger cause I never picked up anything and the house was a mess. by that he ment tht there was a crooked piece of paper on the table. I was on meds for my depression and anxiety cause he convinced me I was the problem in the relationship thta I could not control my own kids (I am a teacher mind you) I just let the kids be normal kids, that is all.He also tried to turn me against my mother who lived with us also, saying she was the blame for how my oldest was etc. Although I know now all of my sons problems were due to the abuse he put him through when I was there and not. So I did finally say tht he needed to get some help for all of his problems. And he was mad cause he told me he had no problems tht it was me who was the blame for his actions. And I tried to talk to him about how he hurt me so much with his words etc. Well that is when he decided to leave and live with his internet girlfriend. but he kept calling me and yelling and screaming at me getting me into hysterics. So we changed our number and I realized how much better things were not to have to walk on eggshells all the time how much the mood in the house has lifted and how much fun the kids are having. They got effected badly too my oldest has anger fits due to it all. His therapist called him in to CPS and he is now being investigated and I am so worried he will smoth talk his way out of it.but my cps chairperson is the best in the area as I am told and she said tht I am doing all the right things and not to worry. I am fine and much better I am having the time of my life cause I realized I am much happier with him there. Although I do still have nightmares of the abuse I still am much happier!
there that is my story.
there that is my story.
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