I came here because I don't really know where else to find people to talk to. I am four months pregnant and have been left alone and with child by my abusive ex. He called me names and put me down all the time and made me feel bad about myself (he even used racial slurs which really hurt coming from someone who claimed to love me), left me in the hospital to die once, tried to control me with money, played mind games, stalked me when I would break up with him, all kinds of things. So much stuff I can't begin to write the list. Maybe later.
He cheated on me at the exact time that I had become pregnant with our second child (the first one was lost due to ectopic). And after four years of me dedicating my life to him and losing so much for/ giving so much to him/ taking all his mental and verbal abuse/ loving him/ trying to help him he left me for this other woman, moved in with her after three weeks of knowing her and asked her to marry him. Oh and the baby I'm carrying. Him and his new girlfriend got together and tried to verbally abuse me together into getting an abortion. Sometimes it's all so unreal I feel like i'm just having a really long nightmare. But it's true. I was used, abused, and then abandoned and I feel so lost, alone, and hurt. I lost my house because of him. He refused to help me in any way after deserting me. He said if I didn't get an abortion I would never see him again and that the child would not have a father and it would be my fault. He called me racial names and then he had his girlfriend chime in. Someone he hardly knows. I felt like the lowest form of life when this was done to me. Still I chose to keep my baby but I feel so bad that he hates me and the baby so much that he wants it to die. I don't understand. He told me he loved me. Apparently not.