since I’ve joined DS Im getting to know myself more. I realize that I have a phone phobia and there is such a thing! It has always been such a huge deal to call or answer a phone call. I will sit, pace, and think for a while, and end up not making that call!
im grateful for Text messages, which is the way I mostly communicate, but there are times I have to talk on the phone.
my mind asks things like, what will I say? What if they say this? How wil I reply? What if I don’t know that answer?!
like right now for instance, I need to find employment, but I’ve been procrastinating and anxious about making these calls!
so my aunt tells me stuff like I wish you’d find someone so you can get the fuck out of my house and wonders why I get mad at her all the time. If someone walked a day in my shoes and took the kind of abuse I get from these people they wouldn’t judge me they wouldn’t tell me to get over trust issues and they wouldn’t say “now I know why your family is they way they are with you” but...
So very lonely. I've exhausted the last batch of concerned loners. No one truly wants to be friendly I guess. But if anyone does, I'm glad to give it a shot... Msg me. Please!