I am a semi-functional agoraphobe, and that's being optimistic. I was having a wonderful morning yesterday, and got the urge to go to the mall. So I drove, by myself, and spent an hour there. I even went into stores and bought stuff. It was hard, but not so hard I'm not willing to do it again. I wrote about it in my journal, and one person sent me a hug acknowledging my accomplishment. I was, and am, so proud of myself. My family was happy for me, and the friend I called on the phone was too, because she's also agoraphobic, so she knows how big of a deal it is for me to have done that. I do write a lot of journals, sometimes up to 3 a day, so maybe it just got lost in the fray, or people havent had a chance to read them yet, but it kind of takes the wind out of my sails. I was so excited when I got home, I thought I would burst! (okay, the pounding heart from the anxiety may have had something to do with the bursting part) I was so looking forward to a bunch of hugs and journal comments, and messages, but only one person mentioned it on here, and that was after I told him what I did. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but I'm so supportive of my friends, whether it's good or bad, and I'm just not getting back the love I'm spreading. I had the best day yesterday, for a bunch of reasons, and nobody being happy for me makes me wonder why I stay on here. Isn't this place supposed to work both ways? I've been a member for a year, and it used to, but the past two months I've noticed a drop in support from a lot of people. I dont think I should have to go begging for a pat on the back, especially when I've done something that to me is a huge step forward. I can't help but think it's me.
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