for the longet time, not to sure exactly how long i have been terrified of, paramedics ambulances doctors an needles. my friends an i thought i would eventually get over it, but i havent what makes it worse are my bad dreams about it, an like ever one is against me, and make me go in the ambulance and stuff though im scared to death. and i wake up all freaked out. now the sucky thing is technically i have thyroid condition where im SUPPOSE to get a blood test every six months to get the right meds, and obviously i cant do that. my friend an i drove all the way to mexico to get perscription drugs to avoid going. ohh an dentist are the same way, i had to go to the dentist to remove my wisdom teeth i freaked out so bad i ran outta the room, shaking. they had to drug me up so much that i didnt really understand what was going on. they put me to sleep though, and i wanted to run but like my brain wsnt letting me move, it was pissing me off, needless to say i did get them out but thats the last effing time i go through that crap, even being druged up i still felt that fear. its taking over my life. when i have kids (which will be that at home birth thing) i want to be a good mom, but im afraid they will be like me an too scared of docs, an i dont want that. i dont knwo what to do. ive got to the point i freaked out on a paramedic while they were trying to put me in the ambu. eventually gave up, but i may have hit an kicked him, poor guy. it was like a reaction i didnt mean it, you know what i mean? but i also heard of this other guy 28 yrs old that is afraid of the same exact things an he turned out fine, so that means i will too right? i may die a lil early but thats the chance im willing to take..
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