I had to put my beloved Dakota to sleep in Jan of this year, he was 14. I have MS and he was my help dog. I trained him myself. He was always there for me. He would follow me everywhere. He saved me on more than one occasion. When I would take a bath he always layed by the tub. One time I was getting out and I fell and he jumped up and got in front of me and saved me from hitting my head on the toliet. He would stand behind me when I was being stupid and standing on a chair. I miss him so much, I just don't have any joy in my life without him. Everyone says just get another dog, but I don't think I ever want another dog. I can't watch shows with dogs in them or I burst into tears. I was in bed for a couple of months due to the MS, but I just didn't have the will to get better. My Doc said that it was going to take some time to heal mentally and physically. I'm better physically, but I still don't feel any true joy. I have seen him a couple of times, and no I'm not crazy, I still feel and see our cat that passed in 2001. I know that he would want me to be happy and he was just letting me know he was okay. Sometimes I just feel like I killed him, I know I didn't, I know he is not in pain anymore and he is in a much better place. It's been almost 7 months and it feels like yesterday. Does it ever stop hurting? I want to feel joy again. I am so blessed to have a great husband of 26 years and two great kids. My daughter got me a rabbit for Mother's Day and I just couldn't keep it, I felt like I was cheating on Dakota. She understood and she and her boyfriend took him and they love him and are spoiling him rotten. Sorry I have gone on so much. I just don't know what to do. Thanks so much for listening. God Bless
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...