I had to put my old 18 year old dog down in September and I'm really struggling with my emotions. I am angry and distant from my family I never leave the house and the only reason I get up is because of my toddler. I have 2 other dogs and 2 cats but they just feel like "pets" to me.
There is a little back story. I have only ever loved two pets this much her and my old cat. I had my old cat for 20 years and when I lost her I still had my dog. My dog was my humanity and my strength. I had her half my life she saw me through an abusive relationship, 5 years of infertility struggles and much more. She was my first "child" so to speak and she was my only true best friend, she never judged me for my ocd or germophobia and when my anxiety got out of hand she helped me cope.
Everyone says I need to" move on" but it feels as though as the days pass I struggle more. I'm angry, depressed , I feel guilty over putting her down even though I know her quality of life was not good. I cry a lot and I just can't seem to heal. I hate people I have shut all my friends out because they were not there in my time of need and with her gone now I feel very alone and lost.
My husband passed away almost 7 weeks ago. He became ill in January 2020. I was by his side taking care of him through several hospital stays, surgeries and treatments. Two weeks after his passing, I was cleaning out his business records and I found a picture of him with another woman and she was kissing him. He was not wearing his wedding ring. The picture is dated 1994. Then I found emails on...
If things work out, I am going to mow the yard. Have to go get gas first--used the last in the can a week ago. I noticed the grass is pretty high for only a week. I need to check the other stump tomorrow and see if I can get it out. It is pine wood. I may keep it for drift wood project. Mom had a pretty good day today but last night was not so hot. Anyway, she is good tonight. We...