squirt was 15. we knew she had early stages of kidney disease in april. the vet didnt tell me how much longer we would have, and i didnt ask bc i guess i didnt want to know. my goal was to giver her quality of life care and if she took a major turn, i would let the vet know. the changes were slow. it was hard to know if it was because she was older or if it was the kidney disease. i guess i was in denial. she ate, slept, peed and pooped and enjoyed her treats with gusto for months. so if there were a few more accidents, or she seemed a bit more restless or confused, i guess i just thought it was the aging process. we had her 15 year old birthday party on 8.1. 1 week later she became anorexic, drank lots of water and became incontinent. the vet told us on 8.11 that she was in advanced kidney failure. we could admit her to the hospital for 5 days and start an iv and have a 50/50 chance for survival or we could let her go. just in those few days she went from a pretty active elderly dog to a very, very sick dog. we didnt want to prolong her death by trying to keep her alive for our sake, but i am racked with guilt that i didnt do enough. i thought it would be a relief to let her go so she wouldnt be in such discomfort. but now i miss her so much. i wonder if i didnt make a huge mistake. i know i cant change it, but i feel so awful. i tried to prepare myself for this loss. i got her when she was 11.5. i knew my time with her could be very short. we had 3.8 years of pure love and devotion for each other. for her not to be here breaks my heart. my husband and i were with her when she went to sleep. i want to get another dog only bc i have so much love to give them but my heart just breaks at the loss of my beloved squirt.
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