Oh, how I am so sad for your loss. I had our beloved baby (a 12 yr old toy poodle) put down about 4 months ago. I greive for him. I cannot tell you how much I miss him. But then you already know, don't you??

I cannot forgive myself for taking him in to do the dirty dead. My husband was at work holding the fort down. After I dropped him off, begging him to forgive me, I went right back to work, too. No boss would understand us needing to take time off for a pet.

I cannot get past that I was the one who did it. I WANT A DO-OVER!!! With all my heart. I know you do, too.

We had him cremated so we could keep him with us as we are living in an apartment and burial was not an option. When I went to pick him up, the vet gave me a little ceramic hand print (paw print) to remember him by. I lost it. I totally lost it. I really cried and just about screamed, "Do over, do over!!" But as adults we know there is no do-over, is there??

May God comfort you. And may you talk to Maxine each and every day for she is with you always.

My heart hurts with you. Know you are in my prayers.

Thank you grammati. You words are so comforting.

I'm very sorry for you loss. I do understand, I want a do-over, I want the opportunity to cherish those last few days, I feel so guilty for thinking Maxine was always going to be there. I knew she was dying, but I acted like it wasn't happening. I should have spent more time with her. I'm so sad and guilt ridden.

I'm beginning to think that the sadness will always be with us. I cried again yesterday when I read your post. It was so like what we went through with our Gilby.

I knew for a week or so that he was going to be put down, but it didn't make it any easier. We had been told a few years ago that he had a tumor near his kidneys and might have a year or so left. We had over three with him and had he not become incontinent, I'd still have him now until the end.

That morning I gave him a bath and he actually stood still for me - something he has NEVER done. It was nearly the hardest thing I have ever done - until I had to take him to the vet. I just kept holding him while the paperwork was done. I just kept saying, "I'm sorry. Mommy loves you. Please forgive me".

It is done. There are no do-overs. I think about getting another puppy to fill the void, but then I feel guilty that I should want another, that he would think he was so easily replaced.... the list goes on and on. But you know.....don't you??

I understand where you are comming from. I feel like I killed my 20 year old min pin Dillon. We were the same age and i got him when i was 6 years old. I had to have him put to sleep and he had no good viens so they put it in his heart. They did not get the door closed and I saw them do it and it was like he was crying for me to save him. I remember his face and him crying. I have alot of night meres over this and I miss him alot and am still very sad over this.

A thought just occurred to me: part of the reason you are all feeling so sad for the loss of your beloved pet is because you are good loving and caring people. Just think of those horrible humans out there who treat animals horribly and don't care for them. How sad for them that they can't bond with an animal and how fortunate for us who can. Yes, you are all grieving, but you are also all so very blessed to have had these human-animal relationships to enrich your lives. I hope this brings some comfort to you in your grief. xxx

I feel for your loss sooooo much! My doggie son (a Maltese) has had health issues over the years as well! Throat collapse dissorder, what seemed to be a stroke recently (I had to give him CPR!), arthritis, seems like seizures on and off from the stroke, confusion, a mom with many diseases! Sometimes he is sooooo strong and watches over me to see if I'm feeling well, even though I can see that he feels bad and things are cathing up with him in all his 13yrs.! ('ve had him since he was 6weeks old!) He still watches over me! He never complains really! Just accepts being sick as part of his life and is trying to be sooooo strong about all of it!

Me and my boyfriend are going to be sooooo heartbroken when he passes over!

I feel for your loss sooooo much because of what you said about your doggies strength in being sick on and off! I know things are catching up with him, no matter how strong he tries to be and I DON'T EVER want to take a second for granted with him! EVERY DAY WITH HIM IS PRECIOUS! Because after his stroke and having to give him CPR I knew sadly his days are numbered and he may still fight to stay strong, but I know how bad he must truly feel! But for me, I want to do what I always do and sleep next to him and treasure him and hold him in my arms till the very last second and just show him more, now then ever that I love him sooooo much and I am sooooo proud of his strength through all this! He is amazing!

Know that you loved your dog with all your heart! You might of made a choice, but your doggie isn't mad at you one bit because love is a feeling deep down in the heart and I know that the love between the two of you was like an invisible string connecting your souls together and your doggie felt that love weather near or far!

Dogs are truly in tune with emotions and your doggie knew you said goodbye in your heart and I'm sure your doggie felt that deep, unending love and always will!

Take care,
Stay sane!

Behind all of our love is sadness but we only see it when we've lost something.
I've had to help a lot of people euthanize their family members. I've helped terminally ill people, facing there own death, have to end the suffering of their most loved friend. I've been enraged at people who've demanded I euthanize this pet because he/she doesn't match the new furniture. And I've cried every single time.

When we make the decision to be human and help end the suffering of those pets we love we then accept the sadness as evidence of our love. Proof that we've lost a part of ourselves, something that lived, grew and nurtured with us. What good would all that love be if we could truly appreciate it through sadness. Let yourself grieve and thank God that you have the humanity to be able to experience the relationship you had. A good death is a good death whether you're there or not and that is all that matters. A truly painless, fearless, honest and good death.

Your going back to work and leaving your pet is understandable. It doesn't mean you didn't love her. I believe it means you loved her so much that you could not face the reality of what was happening at the time. It means YOU LOVED HER--not that you didn't. You probably were in denial because the looming loss was simply unbearable. She knows this.