Hi I lost my Akita Nummy Muffin Kookoo Butter (don't LOL!) @ eight years ago. He was the best dog for so many many reasons - my heart breaks, I swear to God I would jump in front of a train if I thought it would bring him back. What tears me up about this so badly is that it was partially MY FAULT! He was only two when he died; always the runt of the litter, but grew to be huge. THe vet always said he was underweight, and I tried everything under the sun, from supplements to steak & hamburgers, but he just wouldn't fill out. Then one day I went on vacation for two 1/2 weeks and left him with the same man who sold him to me. When I came back, I could tell something was terribly wrong; he just wasn't himself, he was terribly skinny, and his leg was swollen. It was the first time he ever hurt himself so I put some of it down to him being a big baby, and said I would take him to the vet in the morning. In the morning he was dead. I've had tests done on him; nobody knows what killed him, one vet said he had no immune system and the cut on his leg killed him. Anyway, I failed him and there's no changing that, just had to get it off my chest. Not looking for sympathy here! Does anyone else live with this guilt and how do you deal with it?
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