It seems to me if this is a group to HELP you that they should be open to hearing whatever you have to say. Whatever you say will be how BPD makes YOU feel and not necessarily anyone else. If you feel that way, you should be able to tell a therapy group what you feel without fear...maybe that comes from fear of rejection or abandonment? Tell it like it is for you!

I think it should be a safe place to be honest here, and I have never really seen anyone attacked on this board like I have on others. On a side note, a lot of times when I think of BPD I think of Winona Ryder in Girl Interrupted. I don't know why. She had BPD, but I am not sure how accurately it was depicted.

I'm not sure if i do have this, i guess some people have told me that people with BPD are violent at times or turn ugly towards people they love because they can't help it. I don't know. i guess hearing a better description of exactly what it is would be better than just reading it off of webmd ya know. i don't know.

MAD AND GLAD

geesh, if that's the case reply #3, it's no wonder that I was dx'd w/ a moderate case of BPD. I've just started CBT this week, and already it's amazing how much I've learned. And how much more I have to learn.

should i go through cbt, i mean i want to. but i don't know.

I know exactly what you mean. It's hard to see yourself in that box. My father is borderline and the only thing I didn't want was for them to tell me I was too. I don't want to be like him. When I first got that diagnoses this summer I almost killed myself. I don't want to think that I could ever be as hurtful as he is.
That said, I guess all we can do is work with what we have. Do the best we can.

BPD is an illness.
(Relief - it is not me being dreadrul and useless)
It is manageable - especially with help. But takes thinking about, techniques to be learnt and applied, and a responsibility to yourself and others (Relief to get CBT or DBT because that should train you to deal with it).
A lovely person with BPD is unlikly to be horrid to people, overly angry or violent. It is not necessary. It is not inside in the first place. BUT if someone is abusive and provokes very wrongly for a long time, then we are as likely to respond negatively as any none-BPD person.

Someone who is BPD and is also nasty, violent, abused, brought up to be angry and violent and who thinks it there right to yell, hit etc others, then they will have an even bigger job at controlling themselves as anyone else.

It does not follow that because a person has BPD they are also a horrid person. Do not need locking up in Alcatraz, bars on windows etc.

What they do need is help with separation and abandonment issues (so don't get in a stew) a kind an loving partner who will work with them (e.g. when I get fretful and freaky he holds me very tightly in bear hug and won't let go til I calm down.) We need stability, timetables that remain fixed, people to do what they say and promise they will do, and consistency.

It is ok to be BPD just as it is ok to be Bipolar, or have phobias etc. BUT our responsibility is not to be a nuisance and a drama queen/king, not to be a self-attention seeking selfish person, but to learn to manage our insecurities.

My thoughts anyway. Read "I hate you - don't leave me" very good and easily available book.

Wow thanks guys/gals.... I was so worried that this question would offend...

Keziah - you comment are very helpful...

What I am hearing you say is that BPD does not make us nasty... some people are just nasty to begin with..

that this can be delt with....
it does not have to control me...
I can learn to control it...

it is conversations like this that help me get over my ummm.... bias

CBT? What is that exactly? I don't think I've ever heard of it.

I'm not really sure I can acurately explain the pic/idea I have in my mind regarding BPD. I do know, however, what BPD has meant for me. It has meant moments of uncontrollable rage during which all I felt I could do was scream at the person I was angry with, and also, break things. It has meant fear of rejection and abandonment, and because of this, me avoiding relationships to save myself from being let down. It's meant many many days and nights, mostly nights, of being totally wasted on alcohol or weed just to get through the day or night. It's meant identity problems...me not knowing who the hell I am nor where my place is in the world. It's meant so much self destruction that my arms and legs are now very clearly scarred from various types of blades. I could go on and on, and if it sounds like I took all of that right out of the DSM-IV, I promise, I didn't. I just fit the criteria VERY well.

I guess in my mind, it's borderline insanity...at times. Not always, but certainly at times, depending on my mood, frame of mind, etc. Maybe, though, the borderline insanity feeling comes from my other disorders...one, two, or all of them. I'm currently delusional. Oh well.